The Locket Sagrado
by The Bunnies Will Kill Us All
Summary: When Sage and Ira enter another dimension. they make some important discoveries about the power of the locket and key that they are sworn to protect. But in a world of choices, which way will they go? MagnetOC ZeroOC ZigzagOC
1. Sage

_**The Locket Sagrado**_

_A Holes Fanfiction: Revised_

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A dark, shadowy figure glided stealthily and silently across the dingy old hovel. Their face was shielded from the black magic in the air by a bewitched cloak, the figure moved slowly, taking time to inspect even the smallest of things; like the fine layer of dust on that table over there or the cracked mirror of a mahogany vanity.

The dark figure sat in an under stuffed armchair, sighed, and stared around the room, there was nothing of real worth in the hovel. Nothing worth seeing.

Nothing worth stealing.

There was a deep rumble, like a minor earthquake deep underground, a large, round shape materialized. It had rough, earth colored scales and long ivory teeth peeking out from its immense mouth. Tiny, leathery, brown, bat like wings where mounted on its back and a long, spiky, lethal looking tail thrashed around in obvious impatience.

"Good evening, Bestia Redonda. What do I owe this pleasant meeting?" The figure spoke silkily, like a serpent. There was a definite feminine tone to the voice; as well as an air of bored amusement. One would not think she was talking to a giant beast, a comrade perhaps, but not a big, round beast with large, pointy teeth.

"You know what I want, The Locket Sagrado. Give it to me or I will cast you into the next dimension, you know I can, _esclavo_!" rumbled the beast, his impatience showing up clearly on his face.

"I have a name, Bestia! You would do well to remember it!" The female figure yelled. The pleasant courtesy that was formerly in her voice long departed.

Bestia just laughed, it was a horrible sound, like an avalanche of scorn and hate melded into a singular, horrible, throaty cackle. The figure shuddered violently at the sound.

"Of course, I simply _beg_ your pardon, _Sage_. Where _are_ my manners?" he growled, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Enough, I tire of this meaningless conversation. You are an _amenaza malvada_ if there ever was one! Give me the locket sagrado! You have until three, esclavo!"

"Never." Sage, the shadowy figure, said quietly.

"One."

"Two."

"Three….Goodbye, foolish whelp! Make no mistake; I _will_ come for the locket! I just hope you enjoy living in another dimension, cut off from _all_ you love, in the meantime!" cackled Bestia.

There was a blinding flash of violet light, a sharp sound like the crack of a whip and the overwhelming smell of black magic.

It was then that Sage knew that she would never again see her own dimension; the purpose of her being was now to protect the Locket Sagrado from Bestia.

Be it the last thing she ever did.

And that was likely to be the case.

The next thing she saw was certainly not what she expected.

Holes.

Holes as far as the eye could see.

Sand too.

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	2. D is for Disaster

_**The Locket Sagrado**_

_A Holes Fanfiction: Revised_

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The sun was an unrelenting and unwelcome presence in this new world. It was a bit disorienting, transitioning from night to day so rapidly.

Sage turned around, desperately searching for some sign of life in the dismal wasteland. Alas, no matter where she looked there was nothing but sand, holes and… people in orange jumpsuits?

'_Orange jumpsuit-clad strangers? This is new.'_ Sage thought. Her eyebrows drew together in confusion, where in oblivion was she? There was no way she was going into uncharted desert by herself, so that left only one option.

The orange clad strangers.

Bestia Redonda had intended for her to be sent here, therefore, she felt safe in assuming that 'here' would not be a very pleasant place to live out the remainder of her life. Wherever 'here' was.

A figure broke away from the orange-clad masses and yelled at her. Something about girl scouts. It all made very little sense, but seeing as there was nowhere to run, Sage allowed the figure to approach her.

The man was slightly overweight with sideburns and cowboy boots. She felt confident that, if it came to it, she would be able to come out the victor of any altercation. She didn't say anything, so the stranger was forced to make first contact.

"What's a girl scout like you doin' at a place like this?" the man said gruffly, eyeing her as if he couldn't quite believe she was there.

Sage just stared at him blankly. She stood unnaturally still as he examined her attire. She probably looked very out of place in a pair of baggy overalls, and with a black cloak strewn across her back. Her hood had been blown back by the ever so slight desert wind.

"What's a girl scout like you doin' at a place like this?" he repeated, eyeing her with suspicion.

Sage opened and closed her mouth to speak a few times, but no sound came out. What could she say? She couldn't very well just claim she'd popped over from another dimension as punishment for harbouring a sacred locket of untold power from an evil beast. She hardly believed it herself.

"I… I don't know how I got here." Sage said lamely.

This was met with the expected disbelief, and several minutes of back and forth arguing was needed to establish that she indeed did not have any notion of where she was or how she got there. Eventually, "Mr. Sir", as he was to be known, decided that she would need to see the Warden.

"Get in the truck." He instructed her.

Sage obeyed, feeling as if she had no choice. There were vehicles in her old world, but they were of different construction to this "truck". She cautiously entered the vehicle and tried to ignore the orange people who stared so brazenly at her.

Mr. Sir drove to a smart-looking cabin with two trees and a hammock out the front. He got out of the truck and proceeded to the door. Sage followed warily.

He knocked.

"What?" Came an irritable female voice from inside the cabin.

"I found a kid in the desert, Warden, ma'am! What do you want to do with her?" Mr. Sir replied immediately, he seemed a little afraid. Sage found it rather amusing that such an authoritative man would be so scared of the mere voice of a woman.

There was a pause of shocked silence as this "Warden" digested the odd news. Then, finally she decided that she needed more context than what could be shouted through three inches of sold oak. "Fine! Come in, then!"

Sage was shoved through the cabin door by Mr. Sir. The interior of the cabin was charming and, thankfully, significantly cooler than outside. Sitting on an armchair, painting her nails was a tall, middle aged woman with red hair and a smattering of freckles.

She fixed her glare on Mr. Sir and then on Sage, then motioned irritably to the couch opposite her. Sage hesitantly took her seat.

"What in tarnation where were you doing on my land? I could charge you for trespassin!" Warden snapped, fixing Sage with a wary glare.

"I don't quite know, ma'am…" Sage said, feeling that this was not the type of person she should get on the bad side of, especially not so early off.

"It just so happens that you are at Camp Green Lake, do you know what type of people come to Camp Green Lake?" Warden asked menacingly. Sage didn't get the feeling she was going to like the answer.

"No, ma'am." Sage said awkwardly. "I don't."

"Bad boys, they dig holes five by five. Day in day out for the duration of their stay, and unless you can tell me who you are and where you come from, you will join them. What is your name, your full name!" Warden demanded.

"Sage."

"Sage. Sage what?"

"Sage nothing."

"I see." She said icily. Sage very much doubted that she did see. How could she? The truth was unbelievable. "Where do you live?"

"Nowhere."

"Well, Miss Sage from Nowhere…. Until you decide to be a bit more forthcoming, you'll be put to work. You will be in D Tent, Mr. Sir will give you your supplies and tell you the code of practice here at Camp Green Lake." Warden said coldly. "Make no mistake, until you tell me who you are and where you're from, you will not set foot off this Camp."

She waved in dismissal. Mr. Sir rose and led Sage to a smallish building that turned out to be an office of sorts. He then proceeded to give Sage two orange jumpsuits, a pair of boots, and a handful of curious looking coins.

"These are your attire and your shower tokens, now, about that digging business, every day you will go out into the desert and dig a hole. The hole will be five feet in every direction, is that clear?" Mr Sir said briskly.

"Perfectamente" Sage replied, in Spanish.

"What did you call me?" Mr. Sir said angrily. Sage would have laughed had the situation been a little less alarming.

"I said 'perfectly' in Spanish… hombre estúpido con los sideburns…" Sage murmured.

"Mr. Pendanski will show you to your tent." Mr. Sir said.

As if on queue, a small man with khaki pants, a Hawaiian shirt and a bushy black beard appeared.

"I am Mr. Pendanski, there's one easy way to remember my name. Pen, dance and key." The bouncy man or 'Mr. Pen, Dance and Key' said merrily. '_He's so nice its sickening…_' Sage thought.

"Uh… Hello…" Sage said warily.

"Lets go meet your new tent mates..." Mr. Pendanski trailed off.

"Sage." Sage said.

"Sage! Lets go buddy!" Mr. Pendanski said happily. '_Buddy?_' Sage though, utterly freaked out. She did, however, follow the strange man. "You'll be in D Tent. D is for Dilligence."

They entered the tent with the big D on it. '_D is for Disaster_' Sage thought grimly to herself, inside the tent there where six boys.

"Sage, this is Rex, Ricky, Alan, Jose, Theodore and Zero. They will be your new tent mates." Mr. Pendanski said obliviously. "Boys, meet Sage."

"No mom, you got it all wrong, I'm X-Ray, That's Zigzag, Squid, Magnet, Armpit and, well, Zero." Said a black boy with extremely dirty glasses. "We call Pendanski mum."

Sage snorted. It was all just too ridiculous. '_Says the girl who just popped in from another dimension and is being put to work in an all-boys correctional facility_…'

"They all have their little nicknames, but I prefer to call them by the names their parents gave them, the names society will _recognize_ them by." Mr. Pendanski said emphatically.

Sage stared at him and said "If they use that name then they will be recognised by it, you idiot."

"Sage, when we have an opinion here we frame it with friendly words, not fighting words." Mr. Pendanski said disapprovingly.

"I will kill you in due time, first I will carve a pattern in your face with a blunt rock and then I will gouge your eyes out with a shovel. When you finally die of loss of blood I will bury you in one of these many holes."

Sage knew she should not have said that. But such was her personality. They didn't entrust her with the locket because she was some dainty waif with a pretty vocabulary.

The Hispanic one called Magnet laughed and then, addressing Sage, said "I wouldn't want to make you mad, chic!"

Sage smiled wryly. "Then don't."

"I'll keep that in mind." Magnet replied, smiling.

Mr. Pendanski sighed. "Seeing as Jose and yourself get along so well he can be your mentor." He turned to leave.

"Thanks mum!" Magnet said happily.

Sage smiled, but then, thinking of Bestia's words, frowned. He said that he would come for the Locket Sagrado.

'_Than means that I am in mortal danger!_' Sage thought frantically. '_And I'm sitting here flirting with a hispanic boy in a correctional facility just waiting for him to show up_.'

"So, what are you in for?" The one named X-Ray said, disturbing her thoughts.

Sage looked at him blankly, having not really listened.

"You got in for a reason, chica." Magnet repeated. "X was asking what that reason might be."

"Oh! Well, I trespassed really." Sage said quickly. '_At least Bestia doesn't have the key…. Ira's holding onto that_. _He'll have a hard time cornering her, and without the key, the Locket Sagrado is useless_.'

"Where?" Squid said.

"Here, I was in the desert, Mr. Sir found me and brought me to Warden who said I had committed a crime by being there." Sage explained. "Or at least, that I couldn't leave until I told them who I really was and stuff."

This was met with a level of disbelief. '_What is it with people not believing what I tell them today? I bet they think I'm trying to cover up some serious crime with some silly lie_.'

A badly recorded alarm was played. The boys hopped up and the guy with awesome hair called Zigzag explained what was happening. "It's dinner, the food isn't very nice but you get used to it... It's the aliens and mind eating shovels that you have to look out for, they watch us from Sweden."

He said all this in a completely calm, matter of fact way, and Sage didn't quite know what to say in response. '_This is a strange place I've come to… where shovels can read minds and aliens run rampant. I must be careful._'

"I see." She finally replied, playing along in order to appear normal. "Interesting. Very… Now that I think of it, I do believe I saw some aliens the other day."

Zigzag's eyes widen and the other boys stared. "You have to tell me what you know!" Zigzag exclaimed.

It quickly became apparent that pretending to have contact with aliens was not normal behaviour by the standards of most people in this dimension. Zigzag was the only one who took to her fake alien story. The others were rather put off by it.

"I thought I was the only one," Zigzag confided. Sage banged her head softly against the table.

'_Nothing to do now but sit back and wait for death_…' She thought dully. '_Maybe I can get a punch in before I'm eviscerated_.'

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	3. Snake Eyes

_**The Locket Sagrado**_

A Revised Fanfiction

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It was still dark when someone poked Sage's side in attempt to get her up. She ignored their vain attempts to arouse her from her slumber.

"Hey, guys! I think she's dead!" said Squid.

'_Go away_' She thought. '_Go away and let me sleep forever_. _Sleep is good_.'

"Nah, Squid. The girl is just sleeping." Said another. X-Ray, she guessed. "Leave her be. She'll learn in time."

"Dude, C-Tent are gonna freak when they find out we have a girl," Squid grinned, "A real girl!"

"Maybe we should get the chica up guys…" said Magnet. '_Oh, Magnet… thou art sexy_'.

"Nahhh… girlie can learn the hard way, you coming Magnet?" Said X-Ray.

"Sure… Hey, where are Zigzag and Armpit?" came Magnet's reply.

"They went ahead." Said X. "They're not so bothered with the newbie."

"I should stay, I am her mentor-majiggy or whatever mum said…" Magnet replied.

"Ok dude, whatever…" X-Ray replied, footsteps signalling that he'd left the cabin.

"Better get the girl up though, or you'll be diggin' in the hottest part of the day." said Squid, his footfalls following X-Ray's.

Sage snuggled into her sparse bedding, relishing the warmth. Then a voice whispered in her ear. She was alarmed by the sudden closeness.

"Wake up, time to dig…" Magnet said gently, prodding her as he coaxed. "Come on, I don't want to be digging all day. The quicker you start, the quicker you finish."

She lazily rolled over, despite her instinct to stay put for an additional six hours. It was early, much too early for her. She wasn't exactly the type to get up at 5 AM and then go for a run.

At the moment it was 4:30 AM.

Worse and worse.

Apparently, in this world, camp is the word used for a nasty old place where they try to kill innocent –well, kind of innocent- teenagers by feeding them regurgitated crap, waking them up at an inhumane hour and making them dig a really big hole in the hot sun.

What differentiated herself from these not-so-innocent teenagers is that, on top of all that stuff, she had to maintain female plumbing and protect a sacred locket from a magical harbinger of doom.

"I'll wait outside while you get dressed," Magnet said, "You sleep like a rock by the way..."

"Thanks…" Sage said, she didn't know what to make of these guys, they seemed alright but it was evident that she was not yet accepted into the group.

Why did she care anyway? It wasn't like they could help her, if she told anyone the truth about how she got here they would only say that she was as whacked as Zigzag. Actually, Zigzag is probably the only person she could risk telling. If he told anyone else they would just dismiss him as crazy.

"I hate this dimension…" she murmured, shrugging on her hideous work clothes.

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Sage met Magnet outside the tent. He pointed out the showers, water spigots, and the other cabins as they walked to the 'library'.

She didn't care what the Warden said, a closet full of rusty shovels is NOT a library. It was a cruel joke.

And it was far too early for cruel jokes.

Or any jokes.

Or metabolising oxygen.

Or indeed blinking.

"Grab a tortilla and a shovel, just don't pick up the one with the red tape on it, that's X-Ray's shovel." Sad Magnet as he grabbed his own gear.

Sage picked up a shovel, one without red tape on it, and a disgusting tortilla with honey. '_He has his own special shovel and everything… he's definitely in charge_.'

Sage waited patiently to be shown where to dig, she didn't even consider touching the tortilla. She supposed she'd have to eat the horrible food eventually, but there was no need to rush into that. Wait until starvation gives the impression that the food actually tastes okay, then gorge.

Eventually, Mr. Sir led them out to a small stretch of un-holed land on the lakebed and marked out where everyone was going to be digging.

The small space was surrounded by previously dug holes; it made the lakebed look like Swiss cheese. Sage shrugged and marked how wide her hole was going to be in all directions until she had a nice little circle etched in the dirt.

Sage then speared her shovel into the dry, crusty ground, it sunk and inch or so into the ground, she repeated this process of spearing the ground until she had a nice shovel full of dirt. She dumped her dirt outside the perimeter of her hole-to-be and repeated the process. This was going to be a long, long day…

Two hours later Sage spied a cloud of dust on the horizon. The others clawed their way out of their significantly deeper holes and started to mill around in a group. The cloud became more distinct, revealing it to be the strange 'truck' that Mr. Sir had driven just yesterday.

Sage moved to climb from her hole also, but was stopped by a horrific sight just inches from her face.

A coiled rattlesnake hissed, all slitted eyes and scales. Unnaturally, two small scorpions crawled over to the snake, nestling in its folds.

_Give me the Locket Sagrado._

She wasn't imagining things. One of the scorpions had spoken in the voice of Bestia.

_Now._ Demanded the other.

She looked up at her tent mates, but none of them had so much of an inkling of the deadly animals that sat just meters from them. Funny, they should have heard the rattling…

"No," Sage said determinedly, preparing to be bitten or stung by the dreadful possessed creatures. Her utterance drew the attention of her tent mates, who peered at her queerly.

_You'll regret thisssss_. Hissed the snake. _You'll die for thissssss_.

"Chica, what are you looking at? It's just a hole." said Magnet, breaking her eye contact with the creatures.

Sage turned to them in confusion.

"Can't you see them? Can't you see the snake?" she said confoundedly. "It's right there."

Everyone looked at her like she was insane. Everyone, that is, except Zigzag.

"Yeah, I see it, there are two scorpions as well, right?" said Zigzag.

"Yes," Sage looked at him with surprise. "How come only we can see them?"

"Because you are both crazy, there is no snake!" Armpit exclaimed. "Ziggy's so mad he sees _cameras_ in the _showers_."

"That's because they're there." ZIgzag said doggedly. "As is the snake and the scorpions."

"Now, now kids! Sage, Ricky, you two should go get a drink, you are obviously both hallucinating!" Said Pendanski, who had evidently arrived with the truck to fill up the canteens.

Sage looked back at where the snake and scorpions were, and found them gone. She gaped openly, looking at Zigzag with disbelief. He, too, seemed shocked at their disappearance.

She walked over and joined the end of the line for water. Zigzag brushed past her, whispering "we need to talk" as he did.

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**v**

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	4. Zigzag: The Dark Horse

_**The Locket Sagrado**_

_A Revised Fanfiction_

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Sage was aching.

Livid.

And oh so sweaty.

She threw her shovel in the 'library' with disgust. All the boys had already gone inside, the sun was down and she was pretty sure that dinner was fast approaching.

More dinner that she couldn't eat.

Great.

Sage groaned and wiped her sweaty palms on the front of her jumpsuit. She hissed as the canvas material of her jumpsuit aggravated the rather magnificent blisters she'd accumulated.

Actually, Camp Green Lake wasn't that bad, in comparison to what she was used to. At least she hadn't had to scavenge any ruins for treasure that could possibly fund her continued existence.

She remembered those days well, Sage would often have to resort to drastic measures to help feed her ailing grandmother.

Sage felt a pang of grief. Her grandmother had died in spite of Sage's efforts. And all she got was this stupid locket.

**°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°Flashback°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°**

An awkwardly tall and skinny girl approached her grandmother cautiously. "Grandma, we are out of bread. Should I steal some for you?" she said. Her voice was low, but the elderly woman had no trouble hearing in the tiny hovel.

The old woman offered her granddaughter a strained smile. "That seems pointless to me. I'll not be in this world long enough to see you come back with it, if you do at all."

"Don't talk like that," Sage said angrily. "You're not dying."

"Call it what you will, but I am not long for this world, sweetling." The old woman replied gravely. "Do not be sad. It is the way of things. I have lived a long life."

Angry tears stung Sage's eyes. "What will I do without you?"

"What you were meant to do." The old woman smiled. "You have a destiny. You know this. The duty of guarding the locket has always been yours. With my passing, you will take up my mantle as protector of the Locket Sagrado. May your life be long and prosperous."

"I can't." Sage protested. "I'm not strong enough. Protecting the locket killed mama. And Bestia knows we have it."

"Sage," the old woman said gently, "you are the strongest person I know. If anyone can protect the locket, you can."

Sage started to weep.

"I'm sorry this had to be your fate, sweetling." The old woman said sadly. "I only pray that you find a way to escape it."

"I love you, Grandma." Sage said, an edge of desperation in her voice.

"And I you, sweetling, but there are things I must tell you. There isn't much time, so you'll have to listen closely."

Sage nodded. "I'm listening."

The old woman struggled to sit up. "You know the purpose of the locket. You know it holds the cursed souls of Katherine and Sam, a pair whose significance is not clear."

"Yes, I know."

"They were cursed by Bestia, and he wants his due. He thinks those souls belong to him, and if he should get them…" The old woman drew a shuddery breath, nearing her end, "terrible things would happen. More terrible than now. The power of a lover's soul… let alone two… a matching set, in fact… It doesn't bear thinking about."

"I know why it's important to keep the locket from Bestia." Sage assured her grandmother. "I'll guard it with my life, if that's what it takes."

"I hope it does not come to that." The old woman said sadly. "The old books talk about a place called God's Thumb. They say it will be the site of either Bestia's demise, or ours. Generations of our family have searched for such a place, but none have found it."

"You want me to find it?" Sage surmised.

"It is the only way to end Bestia's blight on this world." Grandma said gravely. "You must continue training. You must become strong. You must defeat this great evil. Only then will your job be truly done. I failed. Your mother failed. I fear our family is running out of chances to do justice."

"I'll destroy him." Sage vowed. It was easy then, to promise. Before she understood Bestia's power. Her likely demise.

The old woman stopped abruptly, her eyes closed, and with a last shuddery breath, a wide smile drew over her face.

Sage wept bitter tears.

**°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°End of Flashback°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°°º°**

Sage tripped on a rock and faceplanted into the dirt.

She swore under her breath and scampered to her feet before anyone could see her. She jumped when a voice behind her said;

"I have a confession…"

She whirled around to come face to face with Zigzag.

"E-excuse me?" Sage said in bewilderment.

"My confession is… well… I know where you came from, I know what that snake is and I know who the Bestia is…" said Zigzag.

There weren't words. Sage could not even summon the words to articulate her disbelief at what was happening. He couldn't possibly know that name.

"I have dreams." Zigzag continued, taking her silence as assent. "For about as long as I could remember I have had them, my mum thought I was crazy when I told her. I know you from my dreams. I know Bestia, too."

Sage considered Zigzag for a moment and then, finally said "He is after me, he wants me dead."

"I know." Zigzag said quietly. "I heard the snakes."

Sage nodded, not really sure how to respond.

"Oh, and Magent has a thing for you," Zigzag said hastily. Sage looked up, confused by the sudden conversation change.

"You're lying." Sage said with conviction.

There was no doubt in Sage's mind that Magnet didn't have any fondness for her and that this was just some cruel joke that the guys had thought up. Zigzag was probably just a convenient tool for their amusement.

Sage had never really had time to think about boys much. When she had, she generally found them to be annoying or immature. She'd never been popular with them, and vice versa.

This fact had never bothered her.

So, why did she suddenly care?

'_Aw fuck_,' Sage thought, '_of course the disaster of the century and the late arrival of my hormones have to coincide_._ For one to seamlessly follow the other after a period of time had elapsed would be too much to ask_.'

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	5. Mental

_**The Locket Sagrado**_

_A Revised Fanfiction_

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Sage entered the disaster zone known as a 'wreck room' she surveyed the array of broken bodies with disdain and just a drop of pity. Many of them must have been digging for months on end. Having just completed one hellish day, she couldn't imagine the desolation that must've set in by now.

Sage dragged herself to a free lounge. Sure, it was understuffed, bumpy and smelled funny, but at least it was a place where she could nurse her aching limbs in peace. In her opinion, they would have to be amputated.

A few of the D-Tent boys joined her in her little self-pity session and tried to make conversation. It became immediately apparent as to why.

"So, Mental, how was your first day digging?" said X-Ray. Sage had no idea that they where talking to her, was there another new kid called Mental? Did their parents not love them?

"You kidding, man? Just look at the girl, she's done for… some _guys_ last less than a week out here, why would Mental be able to? I mean, just look at what happened to Barfbag!" said Squid.

Sage realized that she was 'Mental' and burned with shame. Less than 24 hours and she'd managed to label herself as a loon in the eyes of her peers.

'_Gosh, people in this universe are rude.' _Sage thought irritably. '_At least give it a week to see if I can redeem myself before branding me a nutcase for the duration of my stay._'

Another voice from the back of Sage's mind went '_Why do you even care? You'll probably be dead in a month or so anyway_.'

"Yeah, I'm doing fine. Thanks for asking, I guess…" Sage said slowly.

"So, where are ya' from?" said Armpit, such original names…_ really spectacular_… said a sarcastic voice in the back of Sage's head. She dismissed it, frantic for something to say.

She was vaguely aware of Zigzag trying to talk to her in sign language to tell her what to say. She knew that every boy in D-Tent was looking at her, and her face heated up as she said the first thing that came to her head.

"All over really, I traveled a lot… never really had one home…" Sage muttered, trying to buy time.

"Like where? It sounds like a cool kind of life to live…" said Squid. '_Damn his enthusiasm!_' Sage thought.

"Ummmm…" said Sage, it seemed that Zigzag had given up on sign language and had found scrap paper and a pen. He waved the paper in the air frantically, like a maniac… Sage could barely make out the scribbled words 'New York, Alaboma, Pasadena, Texas City.'. God, his penmanship should be unlawful.

"Well, like New York and Alaboma… I hung around Pasadena and Texas City for a while… I didn't make any friends though…" Sage said.

"Alaboma?" Squid repeated confusedly.

"Alabama." Zigzag corrected hurriedly, sending a glare her way, "Mental's brain's been fried from all the diggin', I'd bet."

"Whatever man, hey, I'm going to hit the showers!" said Squid.

There where murmurs of agreement throughout the group of boys and slowly, one by one, they left her. Soon only Zero remained, he sat there with an angry expression on his face, his eyes seemed haunted. Sage stared at him in fascination, he was odd looking to say at the least, but his eyes were the most interesting, they seemed so sad…

"Stop." said Zero, glaring at her.

Sage looked up in surprise, she didn't expect him to talk…

"Stop what?"

He glared at her again and looked away. He must not like being looked at. Sage found a piece of paper and she managed to recover the pencil that Zigzag had been using to write names of places, she sat back down on the lounge and wrote.

She decided to use the paper to write a letter to her grandmother, she didn't know why. It wasn't like she would reply or anything.

_Dear Grandma,_

_I am dirty and hungry. The food is terrible here, and the delinquents are ranked like soldiers. I occupy the bottom rank, thus far. I will tell you about my tent mates. _

_The leader is X-Ray, he is bossy and I don't think he likes me very much. He is probably disappointed that when they finally get a girl that she is not pretty or even overly friendly to him. This seems silly to me, I cannot help how I look or who I am._

_Armpit and Squid are X-Ray's closest friends in the group. Armpit is true to his name and is a little bit daft while Squid… well, Squid is much the same. They seem weary of me. I'm not very well liked, am I? You always did encourage me to work on my social skills, and I never did listen. _

_The next is Zigzag. He is the only one who knows my secret. He is nice and all but seriously disturbed. He watches a broken television. Who watches a broken television? Oh well, he's also the only one who believes me about Bestia or where I come from! So far he is my best friend. That in itself is very, very sad. _

_Then there is Magnet… I don't really know him, but he seems nice enough. Cute accent. I know you've always appreciated an accent, Grandma. That's why you married a foreigner. _

_Finally there is Zero, he's small and quiet and evidence would suggest that he doesn't like me much either… but then again he doesn't talk to anyone, so his behaviour towards me may be just be normal Zero behaviour. _

_The Warden is scary, she is the one that said that I would have to dig holes here and she called me a criminal. Well, yes. I am a criminal; I scavenged and stole in my other world to survive. But it wasn't like I had a choice on the matter, and she doesn't know about that anyway. _

_Digging holes, it is the hardest and most exhausting thing I have ever done. My lips and hands are blistered and I have an unpleasant heat rash. You really didn't need to know that, but I'm annoyed about it and I don't think it's the kind of thing I should discuss with males._

_Why am I even writing this? A letter that no one will ever reply, It seems stupid, but I need to think things through. So I guess writing a letter that will never be answered helps._

_I love you and I miss you, _

_Sincerely,_

_Sage_


	6. Ira

**The Locket Sagrado**

_A Revised Fanfiction_

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Sage rose a little more gracefully the next morning. The boys were surprised to no end they didn't need to yell, kick or throw water in order to rouse the inconsolably lazy lump.

It was around noon when D-Tent spotted the little speck on the horizon.

X-Ray, being as blind as he is, thought it was Mr. Sir. Squid thought it was a giant squid that had come to take him back to the sea. However on receiving the cold glares of his comrades, Squid desisted in claiming this to be the truth.

Sage thought it was a minion of Bestia's sent to kill her… Well, she did until the locket around her neck warmed. The closer the speck got the hotter the locket became, it nearly got to the point of taking the locket off and hurling it into a hole.

Sadly, Sage knew that she could not throw the Locket Sagrado into a hole. Ghost-Grandma would be annoyed. The world would plunge into untold misery. And so on.

It wasn't until about five minutes had passed that D-tent recognised the speck for what it was.

A person, and not just any type of person.

A _girl_.

Sage's eyes never left the female figure. She couldn't quite shake the fact that she knew this girl. It couldn't be a coincidence, so soon after she had appeared here...

The figure finally arrived around five minutes before the water truck would usually come. She had light brown hair and a stubborn glint in her eyes. Sage jumped out of her hole, running towards the person that was so familiar to her.

Sage fell face flat into a hole before she could embrace the stranger.

"Um… Sage? Why are you lying in a hole?" Said the strange girl.

"Do you think I purposely ran into the hole?" Sage grumbled from the dirt. "How did you get here?"

"Same way as you. Had a run-in with a mutual scaled friend of ours." The girl said cryptically. "Where is here?"

"Ira…" said Sage warily. "Here is a juvenile delinquent camp for boys. In the middle of the desert. We dig to build character."

Ira blinked. "I didn't realise you were a boy."

"Warden didn't like my trespassing so much. Thus, here I am." Sage replied. "Now quick, someone's coming with the water and if they find you, you're done for! Get in a hole and stay down!"

D-Tent was watching with outmost fascination as Sage pushed Ira into a hole, jumped into her own, and tried to look casual. Sadly, she was failing in that endeavour.

Ira mumbled something along the lines of "There is a bloody scorpion in the frigging hole…" She was obviously fighting the desire to jump from the hole screaming.

The water truck rolled up beside the area of holes in which they had been digging and only five paces away from the hole where Ira was being concealed. Sage drew a breath and forced herself to remain calm.

_'What if they find her? Wait, what if they don't? What would happen to Ira then? I can't sneak her into the tent, this place is crawling with adolescent male criminals!'_

Sage was at loss, there was no easy way out of this one, just as there was no easy way out of the last one… or the one before that…

Anyway, back on subject…

Mr. Sir happened to be the driver today, and as he stepped out of the truck he seemed to sense that something was amiss. His hand caressed his pistol, a silent warning to troublemakers. Sage gulped.

This made Sage nervous, what if he shot Ira? What if the Warden shot Ira? What if Pendansk- no, that's not too likely…

Bow-legged Mr. Sir hobbled around our holes, peering in each one to glare at its occupants.

"Any of you here girl scouts want to confess to somethin'?" he spat.

Sage was trembling in her hole, she had absolutely no talent when it came to lying. If Mr. Sir asked her he would see straight through the unintelligible string of um's and uh's and that would be the end for Ira.

"Anything you want to share with us? Eh?" Said Mr. Sir to Squid, Sage silently pledged to wring his scrawny neck and make calamari of him if he told.

"Yer, there's a girl in that hole over there…"

Oh, how desperately Sage wanted to carve a pattern in his face with a blunt rock… That would be sooooo very satisfying…

Mr. Sir's head snapped towards where the soon to be fried calamari was pointing and dog-hobbled over. He yelled in surprise and hauled Ira out by her hair.

Ira shrieked and clawed at Mr. Sir, but to little avail.

He barked at Ira to get in the truck, and he sped towards the Warden's cabin.

He is really lucky that there is no speed limit in the middle of a lake. Otherwise he would be fined and the author of this story would laugh, hence destroying the world as we know it.

Hem, hem.

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	7. Altercations

_**The Locket Sagrado**_

_A Revised Fanfiction _

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Sage couldn't concentrate for the rest of the day. She couldn't keep her mind off Ira.

What would the Warden do to her?

_**The Warden's Cabin**_

Ira was sitting grumpily in the truck. Mr. Sir hauled her out and dragged her to the Warden's cabin. Inside was nice and cool, a welcome change from the blistering desert heat.

"Excuse me ma'am…" Mr Sir grovelled. "But I found another one out on the lake."

The lady Mr Sir was addressing stood up slowly and walked across the room to where Mr. Sir stood. Mr. Sir cringed inwardly, she purposefully raised her hand just enough to let Ira see the long, sharp red nails before she bought them swooping down on Mr. Sirs left cheek. She was as swift as a viper and twice as intimidating.

Mr. Sir gave a suppressed yelp and turned to flee before the Warden slapped him again.

But instead she spoke: "Do not waste my time with these matters, put her in D-Tent with the other girl. The more free labour, the better."

Ira watched this occur in silence and then, being the person she was, let her tongue loose. "What do ya mean in the D-Tent with the other one?"

The warden's face turned slowly red and then purple, she walked towards Ira and seized a handful of her hair and tilted her head towards her. Ira hissed in pain and glared at the redheaded woman.

"Listen here, I am the Warden of this facility and I will not stand for any rowdiness! Congratulations, your cheek has earned you the great privilege of digging not one, but two holes for the remainder of the week. Now get out of my sight before you suffer the same fate as Mr. Sir."

All this was said in an icily calm voice. Ira felt the chills go up her spine. Then she felt her own rage.

Ira made no move to leave, but Mr. Sir grabbed her collar and dragged her out, one hand still on his burning cheek.

Ira shouting protests the entire way "Let go of me you pig! I will not be harassed like this!" Mr. Sir made no move to release her and Ira continued shouting.

He shoved her down on to a chair that was opposite a creaky desk. He seated himself opposite her and chewed on some sunflower seeds, with his mouth open.

"You will have two sets of clothes, one for work and one for relaxation, when your work clothes are being washed your relaxation clothes will become your work clothes, is that clear?" he barked, tossing her two yucky orange things.

Ira made a face at the uniforms, they where repulsive in both coloration and texture, as the cloth was as rough as sandpaper.

Mr. Sir went on. "You will dig a five by five hole every day for the duration of your stay, your shovel will be your measuring stick, the water truck will come out onto the lake bed where you will be digging every two or three hours to fill your canteen. You will be in D-Tent. What is your name?"

Ira glared at Mr. Sir, she didn't feel comfortable about giving such a man personal details about herself, but she was beginning to realise she had little choice.

"Ira."

Before Mr. Sir could lecture her further, a bouncy man in a Hawaiian shirt and with a gallon of sunscreen on his nose appeared. He walked over to Mr. Sir and said "Where is this one going?"

Mr. Sir growled "Your tent seems to be collecting girls, Pendanski. This one has a little bite… She insulted the Warden."

Pendanski looked surprised then said "Well, seeing as she is in D-Tent I will show her there. How are ya' going buddy?" His tone was bubbly and filled with false cheeriness, Ira knew she would not be making friends with this one either.

"I am _not_ your buddy. I am your worst nightmare…" growled Ira.

She had a job to do. Just like Sage did, '_I hope she has kept the locket safe, without it the key is useless._' Ira thought grimly.

The silly idiotic man led her to a tent that currently contained nine cots that smelled like regurgitated spinach stew and baked beans. There was a crate at the end of each cot.

Ira glared around at the empty room and collapsed on to her assigned cot in exhaustion, she had walked a long way, longer then Sage, who was within view of the camp almost instantly.

She, on the other hand, had to walk for an hour before she could see the camp clearly.

Life is a bitch, what had she done to get here? Nothing! Unlike Sage, she had never stolen as much as a button! What was she to do? The Bestia was now hunting her as intently as he had hunted Sage.

_**The Lakebed**_

Sage felt the letter she had wrote to her grandma in her pocket for comfort. It was like a lucky talisman.

Zero waited silently for her to finish her hole. He hadn't said much to her, but that was fine, she did not mind the quiet. Especially when she had so much on her mind.

"You're a slow digger." Said Zero, his voice was thin and uneven from lack of use.

"Digging isn't my thing, I have more important things to worry about." Sage said, smiling.

Zeros quiet and solemn face became confused. He gave her a questioning look but did not press her on the matter. Zero departed to D-Tent almost immediately, while Sage went to the wreck room, pondering the strange exchange between her and the small silent boy.

_**Tent**_

A short kid with wild hair came in, and Ira decided that she should try and form some kind of alliance with the criminals here. She had enough enemies as it was.

"Hi, I'm Ira, who are you? I got sent here for trespassing. Did you kill anyone to get here?" Ira said, ever the smooth conversationalist.

The quiet boy frowned at her and looked away. Ira was immediately offended.

She glared at the small boy and placed her hands on her hips. "It's polite to reply to someone if they ask you a question, didn't your parents teach you manners?"

The boy flinched at the word 'parents' and rolled on his side, facing the wall. Ira gave up on talking to him and decided to get some shut eye.

_**Wreck Room**_

Sage entered the dismal wreck room once more, she spied most of D-Tent over by the pool table and decided to join them.

She was about half way there when she spied Zigzag staring intently at a broken television. Sage quickly changed course and sad on the lounge next to Zigzag.

He glanced up in greeting and continued to stare intently at the broken television. Sage couldn't help but grin, for some odd reason staring at a broken television appealed to her sense of humour.

Zigzag cast her a concerned glance and spoke. "What is so funny? Don't tell me the aliens have taken over your mind!"

Sage couldn't restrain her laughter anymore. She burst, and it wasn't a pathetic little '_hehehe_ '. It was a mighty, loud, '**bwahahaha**!'. It sounded a little evil to be honest.

This seemed to confirm Zigzags fears, he yelled.

"No! You can fight the aliens! LIVE, SAGE, LIVE!" He yelled while literally slapping some sense into her.

"OK, OK! I'M ALIVE ALREADY!" Sage yelled, she glared at Zigzag and looked over his shoulder. The entire wreck room was silently watching them, mouths agape.

_'They act like they have never seen a girl catatonic with laughter in the middle of a heavily inhabited area before.' _She thought darkly.

Slowly the occupants of the wreck room went back to what they were doing. Sage blushed and walked over to the rest of D-Tent with Zigzag. Magnet looked sulky.

"Nice that you two get to flaunt your new relationship in front of everybody," Magnet said bitterly.

Sage blinked. "E-excuse me?"

"You and Zig," Magnet said, waving his hand at Zigzag, who looked quite taken aback. "Didn't take long, did it? What was it, like, forty-eight hours?"

"That's not even _true_," Sage retorted angrily. "Not that it's any of your business."

"Right," Magnet said, disbelief evident. "This is so typical of you girls. Just because you're pretty you think you can walk around and do what you like. Play with people's feelings."

Sage reeled. "You are such a jerk! _None_ of that is true! I actually don't even know what you're talking about. Explain!"

"Well-"

"Oh," Sage cut in. "Wait. I've decided, I don't care."

And with that she stormed out.

Sage power walked to D-Tent, practically shaking with rage. Inside the tent she found Ira and Zero.

Zero was ignoring Ira and Ira was giving Zero the death glare. Ira looked up, alarmed, when Sage entered. As did Zero.

"People are fucking stupid!" Sage spat, before collapsing onto her cot.

"Sage, what happened? Who did this? I swear I will thrash the living tar out of them with a pipe!" Ira pledged with relish.

"Magnet pretty much called me a whore." Sage said darkly, her voice muffled by her pillow.

"Um, ok. I don't know who Magnet is, but if you give me a brief description of them, I will get onto it as soon as possible." Ira said. Sage smiled.

"Why would Magnet do that?" Zero asked quietly.

Ira looked up in disbelief. "WHY DO YOU TALK TO HER! I'VE BEEN TRYING FOR THE LAST FREAKING HOUR TO MAKE YOU TALK DANG-NABIT!"

"Did you just say dang-nabit?" Sage asked incredulously.

"Don't question me, I'm angry!" Ira spat.

"Makes two of us," Sage replied. "And as for your question Zero, I have no idea."

Zero looked up, thoughtful. "Then I guess its one of those things, right? When boys fight with the girls they have crushes on…"

Sage stared disbelievingly at Zero. Why did everyone keep on saying that to her?

When the rest of D-Tent came in Sage fell silent and refused to interact with anyone. Magnet looked guilty, but also a bit annoyed.

The guys where curious as to why Ira was there. They asked her all sorts of questions, and Ira answered them all as best as she could.

The tent laughed at Ira's stubbornness and her obsession with world domination and by the end of the conversation they had deemed her 'The Tyrant'.

Ira seemed content, well, as content as a teen from another world can get at a juvenile delinquent camp for boys. Sage was glad for that.

The boys where talking about a guy called 'Barfbag' who had purposely been bitten by a rattle snake so that he could get out of camp. The newly hated Magnet said that he had overheard Pendanski saying that 'Barfbag's replacement would be coming tomorrow' while he was stealing Mr. Sir's sunflower seeds. Magnet had also managed to swipe the new kid's file.

Squid peered at the file "Name - Stanley Yelnats, age - fifteen, sex – male, Crime – stealing a pair of shoes." He read aloud.

"Geez, he sounds like a wuss, I bet you he's going to be a little mommas boy!" exclaimed X-Ray. The others laughed, but Sage and Ira didn't get what was so funny about a softy coming to camp.

_**Hours Later**_

Sage exited the tent at midnight. She couldn't sleep unlike everyone else, so she chose to walk.

She was terribly upset and confused, why where the boys so rude? Now the three boys she and Ira could trust was down to two; Zero and Zigzag.

She sighed and sat down beside a hole, letting her feet dangle into it. She turned to the moon; it was so bright in the desert. She tensed as someone sat down beside her.

"Listen, Mental… Sage, please forgive me." Said Magnet. Sage turned towards him, frowning.

"Why did you get so mad?" Sage questioned quietly.

"I was a little jealous…" he said, forcing the words out.

_'Maybe I've been alone for so long that I'm desperate for someone to love me, it not impossible, I've been alone for months, I have no family and I haven't even seen Ira since my fourteenth birthday. I could be lonely, or I could actually like him. I don't know, what I do know is that I will not be asking him which one it is. Great, now I'm talking to myself. And I'm talking back, fantastic. No wonder they call me mental, I have serious issues.' _

Magnet edged a little closer, biting his lip, he had never been more nervous. Sage on the other hand, was well beyond nervous, she was downright terrified. They tried to say something at the same time, blushing at their dismal timing, but at least they got lost in each others eyes, Magnet leaned closer, their lips where just about to touch when…

"SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!" yelled the foghorn voice of Ira, Sage jumped back and ran back towards camp. Magnet sighed. That had not gone as well has he would have hoped.

Magnet was so disappointed that he didn't notice the two glowing eyes that pierced the darkness of the hole they where sitting by. The eyes that had been watching Sage the entire time without her knowing, the eyes of Bestia's trusted minion.

This minion's name was Death.

He had been sent to watch the two guardians, and yes, they would die at his hands. Bestia would reward him greatly for his service.

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	8. Attempted Murder

_**The Locket Sagrado **_

_A Revised Fanfiction_

Magnet lumbered lazily back to the camp, he was disappointed, in himself and in Ira. No, scratch that, he was disappointed in himself, he was _furious_ with Ira. Why at that exact moment did she have to interfere?

Now he was doubtful that Sage would even talk to him. Not after he had tried to kiss her.

Magnet did not notice the black shadow streaking across the barren lakebed towards him, well, he didn't notice it until it twined around him, constricting his movements and crushing his ribs.

It hissed, and omitted a thick black fog, he, stupidly, breathed it in, he felt dizzy, the world was spinning and his vision was blurry.

The shadow pulsated through him and then impressed him with instructions…

_Seek out the guardians and kill them_…. said a lethal voice at the back of his head.

Magnet turned and lumbered back to camp, his eyes where hollow, as if a piece of his soul was missing, or at least lost.

Magnet stalked towards Sage's cot. Not a flash of recognition came across his face as he stared at the object of his affections, who was sleeping rather peacefully, snuggled up close to her pillow.

A long, sharp, dagger embedded with jet appeared in a puff of black smoke.

It fell silently to the floor, as if muffled by the strange buzzing at the back of his head that was telling him to kill Sage, and later, Ira.

Magnet picked up the weapon; he contemplated the cool metallic blade and its capacity to kill with one swift downwards stroke.

He raised it and aimed it at the place where he supposed Sage's heart lay.

Across the other side of the tent Ira stirred in her sleep she awoke to see Magnet standing over sage with a knife. She sprung into action, grabbing Squid's lucky baseball bat and sprinting across the room, wielding it like a madwoman.

All the while shouting "Magnet No!"

Pfft, like he would listen.

He took no notice and bought the knife closer to Sage's heart. Ira swung the bat and bought crashing down on his head. There was a dull crunch.

Magnet immediately crumpled lifelessly to the ground.

Sage stirred and sat up to see Ira standing over her and an unconscious Magnet at the foot of her cot.

"Bloody hell, Ira! I wasn't serious when I said you could bash in Magnet's head with a metal pipe!" Sage hissed.

"It wasn't a metal pipe! It was Squid's lucky bat… which is sort of… broken…" Ira said.

It was true, the shiny, unblemished wood that squid so often stroked with loving affection was now splintered and dented. Ira wasn't particularly worried about what Squid would do to her when he found out his most prized possession was now just a piece of scrap wood. Sage just didn't want to think about it.

"This isn't good, Ira."

"Magnet nearly murdered you in your sleep!" Ira exclaimed, feeling hard done by.

They turned to look at Magnet's motionless body, he shuddered and a streak of shadow glided eerily out of the tent. It's point of origin? Magnet's body.

Sage and Ira shared a knowing look. They both knew that the shadow had caused Magnet's brief murder attempt.

_**The Next Morning**_

The members of D-tent where awoken prematurely by the screams of a traumatised Squid.

"OH DEAR GOD! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY PRECIOUS BAT? WHAT HAVE YOU MOTHERFUCKING BASTARDS DONE TO IT?" He shrieked, Ira stared shiftily around the room and didn't make eye contact.

Sage just lowered her head, and proceeded to shake the still unconscious Magnet awake, after the murder attempt Sage and Ira had hauled him to his cot, trying to make his loss of consciousness look natural.

"Come on Magnet, it's time to dig…" Sage said softly, praying that he would answer.

Magnet groaned, slowly rising, Sage felt a swooping feeling in her chest, she sighed with relief, thanking whatever god there may be that he had woken.

"Ouch… My head… I think I have a lump there of something…" Magnet groaned, gingerly, trying not to cause himself more pain.

"Hmm…" was all Sage could say.


	9. Casualties of War

_**The Locket Sagrado**_

_A Revised Fanfiction_

Mr. Sir walked towards the water truck to begin the first of many trips to the lakebed for today. He opened the door and let out an ear piercing shriek as a corpse fell into his arms.

The Warden was awoken by this shriek and stepped outside to see what the noise was about. She saw Mr. Sir standing by the water truck, gasping for breath.

'_Trust an idiot like Mr. Sir to make a fuss over nothing.' _She thought to herself. She walked over to the water truck checking that the coat of nail polish was still relatively fresh. But she stopped short when she saw what Mr. Sir was shrieking about.

A corpse of a boy. Fresh and pale.

She ran the last few meters to the water truck and slapped Mr. Sir hard across the cheek "SHUT UP you IDIOT! Do you want to wake every person in camp!"

The slap had some how stopped Mr. Sir from shrieking anymore and he quickly placed the corpse on the ground. They stared at the body and were quickly joined by Mr. Pendanski who was still in his pink lacy flannelette pyjamas.

"What's up?" Mr. Pendanski asked, though his questions were silenced when he saw the camper's corpse.

The warden turned to him and said "Do you know who this boy is, Pendanski?"

"Why yes." said Pendanski "That is Jake Manly. Known as "Addict" by his little buddies in A-Tent."

Upon hearing this the Warden sprang into action "Ok, this boy was never here. We don't need a federal investigation. Right?"

"Right."

"Pendanski, destroy his file. Mr. Sir, hide the body. I don't care where just as long as no one finds it. There are plenty of holes to choose from. In three days, we report him missing. Say he's run away. That he hitched a ride on the back of the supply truck and is probably living it up in Austin."

Little did they know, Zero was _innocently_ listening in on their conversation. His eyes grew wide and he scurried back to the lakebed, where D-Tent, Sage and Ira where still digging.

He motioned to Sage to come over to his hole. Ira came with her. Zero flinched as Ira sat at the side of his hole next to Sage.

"A camper is dead. Pierced through the heart with something…" He murmured, sure to keep their conversation out of earshot of the others.

Sages eyes widened in shock. Ira glared at him suspiciously, "How do we know you aren't the perpetrator?"

Sage cuffed Ira on the head.

"Owwwww…"

"Ira, I have told you a thousand times, do _not_ accuse people of murder! It's considered rude here." Sage lectured warily.

'Whatever, see ya later, perpetrators…" Ira laughed and returned to her hole.

"Oh, _haha_, you're a freaking comedian…" Sage growled.

"You know it, sista."

Sage went back to her hole to think about the mysterious 'passing' of the camper. There was no doubt in her mind who was behind it.


	10. Stanley Yelnats

_**The Locket Sagrado **_

_A Revised Fanfiction_

The rickety school bus shrieked to a stop in front of Camp Green Lake, blowing dust into the faces of onlookers.

Sage and Ira were among these onlookers, along with all of D-Tent. The boys all seemed to think that this 'Stanley Yelnats' was going to be a complete loser, neither Sage nor Ira particularly cared about any of this. They were just there for kicks.

The doors of the bus creaked open and D-Tent assembled in front of it. Ira noticed that this put them in intimidatingly plain view of the newcomer. She and Sage shared a disapproving glance, honestly, boys these days.

The new kid was a bit of a let down, he was a chubby boy with mousey brown hair and eyes, he wore a red cap and had a backpack slung over his left shoulder. The guard behind him nudged him with his rifle and directed him to Mr. Sir's cabin.

Sage felt her fingers itch with anticipation, what she wouldn't give to have that rifle in her hands… Ira was just watching the weapon warily, in wonder of whether the safety was on or not. Probably the latter, they didn't seem to care much about juvenile delinquents in this world. That had been evident since they had first stepped foot in Camp Green Lake.

The group slowly wandered back to their tent, it was then that Ira realised what a pitiful existence the boys led. Their routine seemed to be wake up, dig, eat, dig, drink, dig, finish digging, wreck room, eat, shower, and sleep. That was just a tad depressing. Just a tad.


	11. Interrogation

_**The Locket Sagrado**_

_A Revised Fanfiction_

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Mr. Pendanski returned to D-Tent with Stanley a short while later, an idiotic smile was plastered on his sunscreen covered face.

"Hello boys, and girls, this is Stanley, he is here for eighteen months. Make him feel welcomed, I know that all of you remember what it is like to be the new kid." He said merrily.

"Yeah, whatever mum." Said X-Ray lazily.

"Stanley, this is Rex, Theodore, Alan, Ricky, Jose, Sage, Ira and Zero. Guys, say hello to Stanley." Pendanski continued.

"Mum, you have it all wrong. I'm X-Ray, that's Armpit, Squid, Zigzag, Magnet, Mental, Tyrant, and Zero." X-Ray said toughly, crossing his arms across his chest and attempting a 'gangster' pose.

"They all like to use their little nicknames, but I prefer to use the names their parents gave them, the names society will recognize them by!" Pendanski babbled on about cots and digging and whatnot. Everyone had stopped listening.

He came to a halt at Zero's cot and said "Do you know why they call him Zero? Because, there's nothing going on in his stupid little head." Pendanski said scornfully, Ira had the obscure urge to kick Pendanski where it hurt for his little comment.

She convinced herself that she wanted to do that purely because she hated Pendanski, and not because she had any kind of feelings for Zero. She hated Zero. He ignored her.

Zero looked away indifferently at Pendanski's words, but Sage and Ira where convinced that they saw hurt reflected in his eyes.

Stanley shrugged and dumped all his stuff in his cot, he looked kind of lost. Sage took pity on him and said kindly "Dinner will be in a few minutes, where are you from?"

She didn't know exactly why she had asked that, it wasn't like she would know where it was.

"An apartment in Texas City, you?" he said in a friendly manner, he seemed thankful that there was at least one other polite person here.

"I'm from all over the country, man." Sage said readily, she had formulated a cover story with Ira not too long ago.

Sage had already told the tent that she had been trespassing and lived in various places, but Ira had told them that she had broke out of the bus on her way, and that she was here on charges of murder and arson. Ira liked to impress, and this way people didn't bother her or Sage in fear of being killed and set on fire or something.

Ira was imposing in her own little way.

The badly recorded alarm came on, signalling dinner. Ira and Sage made faces at the tent wall, they had not yet adapted to the harsh conditions and the even harsher food.

"You come with us, Neanderthal." X-Ray said to Stanley.

When everyone was seated the grand interrogation began. Sage felt a little sorry for Stanley, she had not received this treatment.

"Seeing as you didn't dig today I think I will have your bread, you wouldn't mind, now would you?" X-ray said, snatching Stanley's bread.

"No, you can have it." Stanley said belatedly, eyeing the bread from his seat.

"What did you do to get here, man?" Magnet asked.

"Uh… I stole a pair of shoes."

The whole table, minus Sage, Ira and Zero, burst into laughter at this. They obviously thought that Stanley's crime was not serious enough. Good thing Ira had decided to go with the murder-arson combination.

"They where Clyde Livingston's shoes. His world series cleats." Stanley finished gravely.

"No way!" Armpit exclaimed.

"How did you get 'em?" Magnet asked.

"Does Clyde Livingston really look like a vampire up close?" Zigzag queried, eyes set wide.

"What's a Clyde Livingston?" Squid said stupidly.

Ira would have reprimanded Squid for his comment, but she didn't know who Clyde Livingston was, nor did Sage.

"Erm… I think I will turn in early, um… bye." Stanley said nervously, soon the table was cleared except for Ira and Zero. Zero was staring into space and Ira was just a slow eater, she did, however, pick up on Zero's unusual mood.

"Hello? Is anyone there? Earth to the mute guy that doesn't seem to like me?" Ira said, waving her hand in front of Zero's expressionless, yet deeply thoughtful, face.

Zero's head snapped up at Ira's attempts to un-zombify him.

"What is your problem? Why don't you talk to me?" Ira asked.

"…"

"Whatever." Ira muttered, pushing her tray away angrily and leaving Zero alone.

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	12. Love and other Insanities

_**The Locket Sagrado**_

_A Revised Fanfiction_

Ira stared helplessly out over the desolate lakebed. The red sunset eclipsed with the horizon. Everything but the sky seemed black and meaningless while the setting sun seemed to dance in its own radiance.

What was she going to do? It was obvious that Bestia was after them.

How would she be able to protect the key? The only thing that prevented him from taking it from her and Sage already was the fact that a guardian must willingly hand over their treasures. That, or be killed for them.

Ira fingered the small, silver key in her hand, trailing over the letter 'S' that was engraved there.

There was no easy way out of this one, the thing that bugged her most was that she didn't know what Bestia's game was, why did he send her and Sage to the same place?

It would have been easier by far to simply capture the two. Hence enabling the opportunity to torture her and Sage into handing over the locket and key.

_It just didn't make sense. _

Magnets head still mysteriously hurt, resulting in him being one of the last diggers along with Sage and Stanley.

Stanley headed back after an eternity, leaving Sage and Magnet alone, Sage could have been done by now, but she had been digging slowly all day, pondering.

Sage finished with her hole and went over to Magnet's.

"Hey, do you want any help?" she asked softly.

Magnet looked up at her in surprise, but then shook his head, "Nah, I'm fine, nearly done anyway, a few more inches."

"I'll stay and wait then…" Sage said, smiling slowly.

"You don't have to, go back to camp, I won't be long." Magnet said firmly.

"No."

Magnet looked up in surprise at the defiant reply. "Alright, stay." Magnet said indifferently.

"I plan to." Sage grinned.

"Sooooo… What did you do before Camp Green Lake?" Sage asked, sitting by the edge of the hole.

Magnet was caught off guard by this comment, "Well, I like animals, so I spent awhile taking care of strays in the neighbourhood. That's about all, really. High school. Life. You know."

"You like animals?" Sage said, a smile slowly taking over her delicate features.

"Yeah, why?"

"It surprises me… that's all." Sage said.

"Why?" Magnet asked again, utterly confused.

"Well, it's just not something I ever pictured a master thief being passionate about." Sage smiled lightly.

"I stole a lot, I had to get caught sometime, I just wished that I could have saved that puppy first." Magnet said simply, measuring his hole, perfect.

Sage looked at him questioningly.

"I got sent here for stealing a puppy, it barked in my pocket. I was just trying to save it, you should have seen the way the owners of the pet store were keeping them locked up in cages. If you ask me, they should be here instead. The way they treated their animals was criminal." Magnet replied, hopping out of his hole.

Sage smiled again at his words, "That's really sweet, you know."

Magnet shrugged, his cheeks heating up.

He did the first thing he could think of, he reached out and grabbed her hand, Sage seemed surprised by the gesture, but she seemed content enough.

"You know, I really like you Sage…" Magnet said softly.

Sage suppressed a grin at his words, and, pretending not to hear him said; 'I'm sorry, I missed that. What did you say?"

"SAGE!" yelled Ira.

Magnet made a mental note to hurt Ira whenever the opportunity arose in the future.

"Ira…" Sage said, her tone barely controlled. "What do you want? Magnet and I were speaking."

"I want to talk to you… privately. So evaporate, Metal or Magnet or whatever your name is!" Ira yelled, Sage was seriously contemplating Ira's capacity to function and speak at the average volume of a normal person.

Magnet glared at the ground and walked back to the camp compound.

"Ira, I am perfectly capable of running my own love life!" Sage burst, as soon as Magnet was out of earshot.

"NO, this is NOT acceptable, that is twice that I have had to peel him off of you! Whatever your feelings for him may be, you must forget them. Has it not occurred to you that eventually we will have to return home?" Ira scolded.

"Remind yourself of that next time you look at Zero!" Sage retorted angrily.

"What exactly are you implying?" Ira hissed.

"I think you know exactly what I'm implying." Sage said darkly, looking Ira straight in the eye.

"You haven't a clue!" Ira raged.

"At least I can admit my feelings! You feel the need to become mortal enemies with the boys you like! You are in so much denial about how you feel all the time! Its like you don't have the capacity to feel anything other than rage and irritation!" Sage yelled.

"Well at least I don't try to fit in where I know I don't belong!" Ira hissed in reply.

Sage looked upset at the last comment and, biting her lip, said "look at us. We have Bestia and his countless minions fighting us, so what do we do? We fight each other. This is ridiculous. Please, let's just drop it."

Ira blinked. "Agreed."

It was, once again, official.

Ira would die.

Slowly and painfully.

Magnet decided that he would decapitate himself with plastic spoons after he killed Ira. There really was no need to go on living his pathetic life.

He had been so bloody close. He'd said the words.

Magnet flopped down hopelessly on a couch in the deserted wreck room.

And he still didn't know why his head hurt.

Sage had made up her mind; she was going to tell Magnet that she liked him. Ira was at dinner so she had a little while before the she-beast assumed her usual prowl around the camp.

"Magnet?" Sage called, walking into the barren wreck room.

"Yeah?" said a richly accented voice, she whirled around to see Magnet sitting on a couch, staring intently, almost directly behind her.

"I came to talk to you." Sage said seriously.

"Talk away." Magnet said, slightly confused.

"I… Erm… I… uh…" was all Sage managed to say, great, she had now lost the ability to speak fluent English. Just peachy.

Magnet stood and stepped towards her, leaving bare inched between them.

"Maybe what you want to say is better expressed in actions?" Magnet said softly, lacing his fingers through hers.

Sage blushed. "Um… what kind of actions are we talking about here?"

Magnet caressed the side of her face lightly, leaning closer.

"This kind." Magnet whispered, gently tilting her chin upwards and kissing her softly.

Sage was in partial shock, but soon responded by looping her arms around his neck whilst he pulled her closer. Magnet marvelled at how soft Sage's lips were, holding her at the waist and kissing her neck and cheek lightly.

They were interrupted by a false cough from the doorway, in it, stood Ira and Zigzag.

Zigzag grinned cheekily "We'll just leave you two alone…" and backed out the door, towing Ira after him. Speaking of which, Ira looked as if she could throttle Magnet there and then for ever existing in the first place, this would make leaving all the more difficult.

Sage looked at Magnet sheepishly.

"That was… awkward…" Magnet murmured bashfully.

Sage laughed, a pure and golden sound to Magnets ears.

"So, you're ZigZag, huh?" Ira said lamely.

"Yeah…" ZigZag said distractedly, intently focused on the numerous ants scurrying at his feet.

"How's that working for you?" Ira queried.


	13. You dont even want to know

DA - Hullo, rejoice that I am not dead, only completely loco after consuming a glass of condensed milk. Here is the update.

Chapter – You don't even what to know.

It was another painful day at labor on the barren wasteland that Mr. Sir insisted on calling a 'lake'. Squid was still mourning the loss of his bat and was extremely surly. Zero was as silent and expressionless as a block of wood and Zigzag was on the lookout for cameras and microphones. Don't ask. Just…. Don't.

Sage had sunk into a state of depression and humiliation since Magnet's rejection, whilst Ira was enjoying the new-found delights of aimlessly tormenting Zero. Once again, don't ask.

Magnet kept on looking over at Sage and biting his lip, whilst Stanley was struggling on with his second hole.

The water truck rolled around and Sage took her place behind Zero, in front of Zero was a stone faced Magnet. Ira kept on leaning forward to poke Zero in the shoulder, and when Zero turned around Ira quickly reminded him that it was a crime to hit girls. Not that Zero would have done it anyway, he was obviously romanticizing about the temperamental… girl… in his spare time. Sage found this cruel and lifelessly scolded Ira, not that it made much of a difference.

Ira was vaguely aware of someone yelling triumphantly from their hole, and of course it wasn't long until 'King X-ray', as Ira called him, went to investigate before Mr. Sir could.

A few moments X-ray returned and Stanley joined the line. X-ray seemed happy about something and kept on touching his oversized pockets, as if to assure that whatever it held was still there.

Ira craned her neck over in the direction of Stanley's hole, which, although dismally small, seemed perfectly normal.

Ira shrugged and got back to her hole, having received her water moments ago. Meanwhile, Sage was making astounding progress on her hole.

"Tell me, miss Inusual, WHAT is your secret??? I mean, you dig a five by five hole and STILL manage to look like absolute shit. There must be a trick you're not telling me about!" Ira said in an interviewers voice.

Sage cracked a smile and said in a high, phony voice "Well, I sacrifice men to my god regularly and I take daily medication for my um… 'homicidal tendencies' shall we say? I have also been screwing my psychiatrist for the past few weeks… that, my famous friend, is my secret to suckiness."

The two girls randomly broke into unsuppressed laughter.

"Seriously though." Ira said, whipping tears of laughter from her eyes whilst Sage was getting high off the substance currently known as madness, "What's up, I sense an imbalance in you."

Sage glared, "An imbalance? Riiiiight. Next you will be telling me that 'there is great rift in your relationship with a significant other'. I don't even have a significant other Ira! When will the madness stop?!? WHEN IRA, WHEN??!?!?!?!?!??!?!"

"CHILL!!! I never said that you DID have a significant other, I don't even WANT to know where that came from. But I know something is up! And I bet its got to do with Magnet, well, I can tell you right now that I have a metal pipe that I would like very much to introduce to him!!!"

"No, I'd rather you not."

"Then what is up?"

"What's up? What's up? I'll tell you what's up Ira, I practically threw myself into the arms of a jerk that doesn't understand me nor does he care for me! I convinced myself that I loved him, but now I am certain that is not the case, because I could never love someone so idiotic. He was a mistake that I won't make again. But it hurts. Also, in regards to the people here, one is a maniac obsessed with his precious baseball bat, another one reckons he's royalty, one is proud to be unhygienic, one reckons that there are cameras and microphones everywhere, one broke my fucking heart, one doesn't speak and the other one is an oversensitive mammas boy!!! So that's what is up, Ira. Are you happy now???" Sage ranted, she actually looked like she would break into tears.

"Ummmm…. Sage?"

Ira motioned around them.

"Not the most confidential place, but I totally agree about Zero not talking, bloody weirdo."

The holes around the two were dead silent and the girls were surprised to learn that everyone was listening in on their conversation. Magnet had something that resembled hurt on his face and Zero was frowning quietly from his hole, puzzled by Sage's unannounced insensitivity. He was used to it from Ira but it was so unlike sage and one Ira was enough. Zigzag was staring at Sage with his mouth open in shock and hurt and the rest were looking at each other questioningly, wondering what the hell they had missed.

Squid finally figured out he had been insulted, "Hey, that was a quality bat, you bitch."

"Leave chica alone." Magnet said shortly.

"What? She calls you a jerk that don't understand or care, she say's she won't ever be with ya again, and you still do whatever the hell she wants! Can't ya see she's using you?"

Magnet fell silent, then, he raised his head and looked Squid squarely in the face "It's my fault chica's upset. Not hers. And you are crazy when it comes to the bloody bat."

"Well, I can tell when I'm not wanted! I think I will leave." Squid said, walking away huffily.

Everyone looked at Squid in shock that he expected them to stop him.

"Good riddance! Bon Voyage! Have a nice fall!" Ira celebrated flamboyantly.

Sage shook her head sadly.

The day went by slowly, Sage looked really guilty and kept on feverently apologizing to Zigzag and Zero, both of whom said not to worry.

Sage was quite touched that they had taken it so well. Despite her earlier progress, Sage was still one of the last diggers. Surprisingly, Zigzag offered to stay behind and wait.

When Sage finally completed her hole Zigzag suggested that they go for a walk. Sage agreed readily enough.

"So…" Sage said warily, the walk had been like a march of silence, no talking, no laughing.

"I need to tell you something." Zigzag said seriously. Sage looked at Zigzag curiously, his face was solemn and fearful, yet there was a dash of hope.

"Ok. Shoot me." Sage said.

Zigzag shifted from foot to foot nervously.

"I'm your brother. Ricky. Please remember!" He burst after about a minute of gazing uneasily into the horizon.

Zigzag gripped her shoulders and Sage's vision flashed as she remembered.

FLASHBACK

A girl of about five years old clutched the hand of her older brother.

"I'm scared Ricky." She said in a highly fearful tone.

"It will be okay Sage. I promise." Ricky murmured. He was quite a bit taller than his little sister, despite only being a year or two older. This gave him an advantage as he darted through ferns, dragging his little sister behind him. Little Sage's feet barely skimmed the ground as she was dragged after her brother.

The two concealed themselves in a shady hut, what they were running from may not think to look there.

A choked sob escaped little Sages lip's and Ricky quickly pressed a finger to them to silence her. Someone was coming through the clearing.

It was their mother. She was every bit as elegant as a swan, her chestnut locks were piled grandly on her head and her tall, slim figure swept effortlessly through the ferns and trees surrounding, her skin was like moonlight and her eyes were a warm chocolate brown.

"Children." She said serenely. Ricky and little Sage emerged slowly, the woman that they knew as their mother had such a grief in her eyes.

"Children, I love you both dearly, but it has come to the time were we must all go our separate ways." She said, her voice was cracking with emotion.

Sage frowned but brightened up as she said "It'll be ok! Ricky will take care of me and we will all be together by next year! Just like always."

Sage's mother looked heartbroken, "Baby… Ricky is going away, and so must I, you will stay at Nana's, ok? I-I don't know when the two of you will be together again… but sweetie, be strong, and even though I surely know that you will never again see me I take peace in the fact that something tells me that you two will find each other someday…"

"But-but…" Little Sage spluttered, gripping her brother's hand tightly.

Ricky bent down to his little sister's level "It'll be ok Sage, you heard mum. We'll see each other again, and I'll be safe. Don't cry. I promise we will see each other again."

"Pr-promise?" Sage murmured childishly through a waterfall of tears.

"Promise." He said firmly.

"Now, this might hurt a little Ricky." Mum said warningly, she then proceeded to lay two fingers on his temple and there was a flash of light, bright and sharp. Suddenly Ricky wasn't there anymore, nothing. Sage's mum sighed, "Come on baby, lets go to Nana's house."

END OF FLASHBACK

Sage sobbed and crushed Zigzag in a gigantic hug. Zigzag was fairly shocked at first but he gradually became ok with the physical contact and began to hug back.

Sage released him from her death grip and grinned, "I see that you didn't break your promise."

"Anything for my baby sister."

"How long did you know about us being brother and sister?" Sage reluctantly asked.

"Almost right away, after mum zapped me I was sent here, to this world, and I was taken in by this nice lady, but as the years went on she kept on thinking I was insane. especially when I had the dreams. I often dreamed of you as you got older. You look a lot like mum now just not so…"

"Shapely or serene or... graceful." Sage finished

"That will do nicely."

Ira then stumbled out of a hole and pointed at Sage and Zigzag accusingly.

"Bloody hell! I wait around for half a bloody hour so I could see you two snog and you turn out to be RELATED!!! Just my bloody luck. Zero! Come!" She yelled angrily. Zero then emerged and smiled quietly at them, before scrambling after Ira, who was already a fair distance away.

"Well… that was…." Zigzag trailed off.

"I've seen weirder couples." Sage said lightly.

"Really?" Zigzag asked.

"No. and I don't really think that they are even a couple!" Sage laughed.

"What's going on then?" Zigzag said in confusion.

"You are a very clueless brother. Zero is obviously smitten with her, despite her cruelty towards him, and she has enlisted him as a slave of kinds. She does this to punish him for not speaking, hence not allowing him to make any kind of social contact while he is still utterly bent to her will. He will follow her around like an obedient little love-struck puppy." Sage explained calmly.

"Women are cruel and unusual."

"Just like math." Sage added.

"Indeed."


	14. Uh oh, spagettiohs

Ira and Zero were resting in the tent, well, Ira was resting; Zero was cleaning her cloak with canteen water. Zero did not like the slavery, but he liked Ira, ever since she had gone off at him he was weirdly infatuated with her. '_I guess this is what you do for the people you like._' Thought Zero grimly, he scrubbed the silk black collar hard, staring at the tent floor glumly.

"Scrub harder! I want to be able to see my reflection in that silk collar!!!" Hissed Ira, Zero thought her comment was rather faulty, because no matter how clean the fabric, it was impossible to see your reflection in it. Zero just hoped that it was merely a figure of speech.

'_Maybe I should get a whip…_' Ira thought lazily, the image of her whipping Zero on the back while he did her work was amazingly satisfying. Ira was not the most humane person you could come across.

"Who is Bestia?" Zero said suddenly, he kept his head down, and Ira could not see his eyes.

"Get back to work! Don't ask questions!" Ira snapped tensely in reply.

"Who is he?" Zero persisted.

"That's really none of your business!!!" She yelled.

Zero looked up warily, "I'm not a slave."

"That's debatable." Ira hissed.

"I'm not a mute."

"Debatable again!" She laughed. Zero frowned warily, and then returned to scrubbing the silk collar.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Zero asked on whim again.

Ira considered telling the truth for a moment, the truth was she did not have a boyfriend, but Zero could not possibly know that. A fiendish grin overtook her features "Yes."

"What's his name?" Zero asked, a sharp pang of jealousy seeping through him.

Ira froze, Zero was still not looking at her, she would have to think fast…

"Ummm…. Eirik... he has the most gorgeous…. Opaque…. Eyes…. and his hair is all…. shiny and….. gold-like… Yeah… And he's really tall…."

Zero quirked an eyebrow, not buying it, but at the same time feeling really jealous of the imaginary man. She liked tall blonde guys, just his luck.

"NOW GET BACK TO WORK!!!" Ira yelled, Zero mentally groaned.

Sage and Zigzag were in the wreck room, talking about what had happened with their lives since their separation.

"Eh… I spent a few years at Nana's home, and then we lost all our money and had to move. We were in an old abandoned house for a while, and then Nana died. After that I was pretty much by myself. Alone and defenseless against Bestia, I guess that's where Ira comes in. I met her at a flea market." Sage explained when Zigzag asked what had happened after all those years.

"I don't really remember Nana well. I don't really remember dad much either." Zigzag commented airily.

"I never met him." Sage murmured dryly, "but mum was always telling us how much he loved us and wished he could be with us."

"I wonder if that was just to make us feel good." Zigzag mused.

"Doesn't matter now, we wont ever find out. I think I should check on Ira and Zero, for all we know she could be whipping him and being verbally abusive." Sage commented.

"Sage…"

"Yes?"

"That's how she always treats him."

"All the more reason to check, now hurry, there isn't much time! I saw some electrical cords that could substitute for a whip earlier!"

--

Ira was indeed being verbally abusive, true, she had not used an electrical cord as a whip, but her chosen labor chores where just as painful.

Sage and Zigzag arrived to find Ira discriminating men.

"… Men are so sucky! I have one hundred reasons why! One. They leave the toilet seat up. Two. They resolve their fights with brute strength. Three…."

"Ira, ENOUGH! One. Why are you saying a hundred reasons to hate men? Two. Why are you yelling? And three. Why is Zero cleaning your cape, your cot and the ground surrounding it?" Sage enquired irately.

"Ummm…. Because the green monkey said so…?"

"Ira…"

"Yes?" Ira replied pensively.

"Outside. Now!"

"Ok, Ok…"

Magnet was musing over his current situation, he liked Sage, but he was downright terrified of any kind of 'commitment', it had been revealed that Zigzag was sage's brother, so he would surely be hated by him. Ira already wanted him dead, and on top of all of that Sage wanted him dead too!

There are only so many things a man should worry about all at once.

The possibility of being murdered by three different people (one of whom is obviously deranged, one of whom is your chosen crush, and one of whom is your slightly insane friend) was, by all accounts, daunting at the very least.

Especially when one, Ira, had the sadistic criminal mastermind of several fully grown men, and the other, Sage, was trigger a happy maniac.

He mused over the possibility of the two killing Addict, he didn't think Sage would do such a thing but he wouldn't put it past Ira.

"Ah, screw it, she's gone. Just let her go Magnet, let her go." He told himself firmly.

The depressing thing was that, try as he may, he couldn't let Sage go. Somehow the strange and gangly girl from who knows where had wormed her way into his heart. She was intelligent, funny, quiet (Well, in contrast to Ira anyway, but that's not at all hard) and a little mad, and he found it strangely irresistible.

"Forget her." He told himself firmly.

He sighed. No use. He would never forget her, or how close he was to making her his.

He would never forgive himself for pushing her away that day.

He doubted that he would ever forgive himself for what he was to do next, it went against his pride in so many ways.

"I'll do it for her. For Sage, for Sage. She deserves at least this much from me, after the way I treated her." Magnet told himself, he rose warily, and went off in search of Sage.

--

Sage steered Ira forcefully outside.

"Slavery? And just when I thought you had reached the limit! That poor boy is obviously smitten with you and you are taking advantage of it?" Sage raged.

"Really? Smitten? I've still got it then!" Ira exclaimed.

"Ira…"

"Yes?"

"You are sixteen, I would be worried if you hadn't 'got it' whatever that means, not that I want to know." Sage shook her head.

That was when it got scary.

A black arrow tipped in what appeared to be blackcurrant juice landed at the feet of the two girls. Ira swore angrily and Sage screamed.

"AHHHH!!!!! WE'RE GOING TO DIE A DOGS DEATH!!! SAGE!!! WHERES MY TEDDY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Ira shrieked, more arrows flew through the sky, the girls ducked for cover, yelling for help and in Ira's case, screaming for her teddy.

Suddenly X-Ray emerged from the tent and Magnet appeared randomly from around the corner.

What happened next was so fast that satellites from space wouldn't have been able to get a clear image, an arrow soared through the air, bounced off one of the various shower cubicles, and hit X-Ray in the side.

"OH MY GOD!!! SOMEBODY HELP!!! HE'S BEEN SHOT!!!"

The barrage of arrows stopped, leaving three, very frightened, teenagers and a dying tent leader in its wake.

I'm so mean, everyone is having near fatal accidents…

Hehe, review peeps!

Ciao, thanks to everyone so far.


	15. No Cookies For Xray

I was typing away at my other fic happily, when, to MY HORROR I discovered that I was TWELTH in line! I nearly died of shock and started typing immediately!

I have one more thing left to say…

Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry

I'M REALLY SORRY!!!

It was a good shot, it slipped right through X-ray's ribs, and even now his breath grew shallower, and his temperature dropped at an alarming rate. Sage was stiff and disbelieving and Ira was running around like a chook without a head. Magnet was… blinking.

Sage snapped out of her trance and took on the role of angry bystander.

She wheeled on poor, defenseless Magnet "Don't just stand there!!! Help us hide the body!!!"

Magnet looked shocked.

"He's not dead." He pointed out.

"Yet. Give him a minute and he'll smell like a dead fish. I prefer to stash him somewhere before the arrow makes him smell bad." Ira cut in, pausing from her ritual of running around.

Magnet was upset, yes. But not as much as you would think. X-ray never really treated him with any respect, he was the lowest ranking next to Zero. But he knew that once out of camp green lake, there would be no 'D-tent', the D-tent alliance was just a way to survive, no strings attached. Once you were out of Green Lake, you were out of the tent, you didn't exist anymore.

That was just a tad sad. He was a little more worried about who would take X-ray's place as leader, probably Squid, seeing as he is so full of it.

Magnet shrugged half heartedly and helped them move the near dead body of X-ray. The fact that he was still alive sickened Sage, but she knew that they could not let him die before they buried him, if he let off the smell then he would betray their exact whereabouts and vulnerability to Bestia himself.

What? Bestia had a big nose!

They found a nice hole away from the compound and chucked him in, well, Ira did. Sage was white and shaking, they were throwing a dying person in a hole. He wasn't dead yet. What if there was hope?

They would never find out, Ira pushed the mound of dirt into the hole with her bare hands, and soon had the hole filled. It was a lot easier filling a hole opposed to digging it.

Magnet remembered why he had come looking for Sage to begin with. He looked at her, she was scared.

Ira was prancing around again. Already? Gosh. That woman has issues.

Magnet grabbed Sage's arm ash she was about to leave after Ira, who was drifting back to the camp compound singing Christmas carols.

"Chica…"

"WHAT!?" Sage wheeled around, screaming furiously, there may have been rage in her voice, but there was fear in her eyes.

"Sage… I… um…" Magnet drawled, rather taken aback by her outburst.

Sage planted herself to a spot of dirt and started tapping her foot impatiently, her arms crossed against her chest.

"Sage, I…-um… j-just like you…"

'_Shit. That did not just come out. I am going to hell for sure._' Magnet internally groaned. What he meant to say was 'Sage, I love you, I don't just like you.' but that was too complicated for his poor vocal chords, wasn't it?

Sage looked hurt. Then she looked a helluva lot less innocent.

"YOU NASTY LITTLE CHEAT!!! I CANT BELIEVE YOU STOPPED ME TO TELL ME THAT YOU JUST LIKE ME!!! I-" Sage screamed, but was cut off by a victorious yell from behind.

Ira was jumping up and down in the distance, rejoicing and yelling in victory.

"I don't want to know…." Sage said tiredly to herself. Magnet took the window of opportunity.

"What I meant was…. I… lo-... you know…" Magnet said sheepishly.

Sage turned cold eyes towards him, she leered at him and crossed her arms "No, I don't know. Please elaborate."

"Elab-ah… what?" Yes, he spoke English, but Spanish was his first language, he didn't know all those big fancy words that smart people used.

"Elaborate. Explain. Tell. _Now._" Sage hissed impatiently.

"I-I… might just… um…. I love…. you…." Magnet spluttered out.

There was a flash of tenderness in Sage's eyes. Her arms uncrossed, and her mouth, which had hardened into a thin line, relaxed.

"I see."

"So… um…. What now?" Magnet fidgeted nervously.

"That's up to you." Sage said, her eyes were concentrated on the ground, and her lank brown hair was falling into them.

"Um…." Magnet murmured nervously.

"Oh for pity's sake!" Sage growled, she seized him by the shoulders and kissed him quickly and a little shyly, she then turned and strode out of sight.

Magnet touched his lips in a daze.

"I'm doomed."

Little did Magnet know, his doom had only just begun.

ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°º

Ira was prancing around happily in the tent, she tossed her light brunette mane around flamboyantly and burst into random laughter.

Zero was still cleaning her cape.

"Zero, why don't you take a break? You poor thing, let me get you some water…" Ira said sweetly.

Zero looked at Ira in shock, he checked his pulse, just to reassure himself that he didn't die and go to heaven.

Ira bounced into the tent a few moments later, with Sage and Magnet in tow.

Ira handed the canteen to Zero, who raised his hand in defense, just incase she decided to hurl it at him.

But she didn't, she just handed it to him.

And _smiled_.

At this point all Zero could do was gape in shock. His hard work had paid off!!!

"Now, be a good slave and use that fresh water to clean my boots, they're under the bed! Hurry up you useless flea!!!" she suddenly snapped, crossing her arms and scowling at him.

Well… it _almost_ paid off…. At least he didn't have to get the water himself.

ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°º

It was nearly sunset, the tent retired to the wreck room, the atmosphere was thick and downhearted, everyone wanted to know where X-ray was, he had just gone to fill his canteen, but he had never come back.

Sage and Magnet had taken to pointedly looking away when the question 'where do you think X-ray is?' was raised.

Ira didn't react. She seemed genuinely _happy_, like she was biding her time, waiting for a sure-coming reward. It was most unnerving.

The new guy, Stanley, was having some difficulty with Squid, who had taken to ripping up his letters to and from home.

"They're glad to be rid of you." he told Stanley.

It was later on, when said (slightly moronic) new guy got into a fight with Thlump did he earn himself a nickname.

Caveman.

Ira publicly rejected this name, and refused to call him by it, she created the alternatives 'rock head' and 'booger brains'.

Zero had a pet name, 'Slavey'.

"Come here Slavey!" Ira cooed dangerously.

Zero dragged himself pitifully over to Ira, so far he had cleaned her cape, washed her boots, made her cot (six times in an hour), washed her teddy (she conned Sage to con Magnet into stealing Mr. Sir's shampoo, which smelt like mustard) and tended to her every need (including filling her canteen, stealing gram crackers for her and in certain occasions, filling a miniature canteen and stealing gram crackers for her teddy).

The teddy even had his own 'resting cot', on which he lied until nighttime.

Zero's cot served as this bears resting cot. Apparently, the bear was his superior.

Yet Zero said not a word of it.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and soon enough, X-rays disappearance was but a distant memory in the back of everyone's mind.

ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°ºº°º

IM SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!! I PROMISE I WILL BE BETTER IN FUTURE, I REALLY WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!

REVIEW AS ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!! My muses are having a mental health day, their psychiatrists spontaneously combusted. Sorry to disappoint.


	16. Sage's Final Straw

Preface

Rex "X-ray" Jefferson died a pathetic and miserable death. He didn't get the chance to be "brave" or "heroic". He was just like the other fifty or so campers who miserably perished whilst digging holes on a hot, dry lake.

Ira "Vanilla" Risa was a lot like a reincarnated Adolf Hitler, but she made Hitler look like baby Jesus. She would do anything for power, dominance and control. Believe me when I say that she would go far beyond killing thousands of Jews inhumanely to posses this power, dominance and control. Her life goal was three counts of genocide and she liked stepping on ants. Centipedes if ants were unavailable.

Ira was cunning, and had enough sense to manipulate and control next in line, Alan "Squid" Smith. It was through Squid that Ira took over the notorious D-tent of Camp Green Lake. Queen-High-And-Mighty immediately named Sage "Mental" Inusual her steward, count, heir and royal advisor. Just because she wanted femininity to remain the image of power, dominance and control in her "kingdom". The fact that she downright hated the guts of all the other tent members didn't help to change the outcome of that decision either.

There was a change in the ranks, Ira passed a new rule, and held a council informing everyone of the changes that would be made. The next day a piece of paper was pinned up on the door. It read;

_Squid the Royal Retard_

_Zigzag the Royal Lunacy Supervisor_

_Armpit the Royal Stench Bomb_

_Caveman the Regal Wuss_

_Magnet the Regal Punching Bag_

_Zero the Mediocre Slave_

Upon Ira's 'crowning' she announced that new laws would be coming into play.

"A new king or queen signals the arrival of new rules and regulations. Why should anything be different for a royal leader of regal grit and outstanding moral hygiene?" Ira had explained to her heir, steward, count and royal advisor, Sage.

Lets leave out the fact that Ira was none of these things, she was pessimistic, cruel and stubborn.

But she was pessimistic, cruel, stubborn and _powerful_. Which really is the crucial difference here. Anyway, back in oz, terrible events were on the brink of happening.



"Magnet." Sage called after her Hispanic muse. The wreck room was emptying out fast, and Sage hadn't had a chance to be near her 'close friend' of late. She refused to call Magnet a boyfriend, this puzzled said 'close friend'.

"Hmmm…?" Magnet smiled coyly, wrapping arms around Sage's waist.

Sage toyed with Magnets collar, smiling suggestively.

Magnet kissed her jaw and neck, Sage felt him smiling against her skin.

"Hey chica…" Magnet murmured, his voice muffled against the nape of Sages neck.

"Hey." Sage smiled, then realized that she hadn't been hyper of late.

"You know what, Magnet?"

"Hmmm?" Magnet murmured, preoccupied.

"I feel like being loud, hyper even." Sage smiled.

"That's great." Magnet groaned, he half wished that he would one day end up with a quiet, friendly girlfriend immune to mood swings and public spaz attacks. But it wouldn't be the same, Sage had a weird quality to her, he couldn't name it, but she wasn't pretty or normal or even particularly likeable, she went through stages of quiet and loud and was almost as bad as Ira in some respects. He always fell for the weird ones. Why?

"Don't be mean, I really miss being a loon. If you were any kind of close friend you would understand that." Sage snapped.

Magnet groaned again, he just couldn't win.

"Chica, I'm really not in the mood." Magnet said shortly.

Sage seemed to recoil a little in her hurt. She thought he was in a good mood. Maybe she wasn't good enough for him, it was natural for boys to want a pretty, manageable playboy girl.

"Well, um… I just thought… y-you know…" Sage trembled nervously, the image of a pretty blonde slut latched onto his arm playing over and over in her head.

"What?" Magnet said, getting annoyed despite himself.

"That you… you know… kind of liked my… well, insanity." Sage gushed.

"Um… Listen, I kind of need to go now." Magnet said distractedly, heading towards the door.

"Where? Why?" Sage snapped suddenly.

"Listen, you're great and all… but you're not really pretty or smart or anything… and its not like I can pull you into bed whenever I want…" Magnet said pausingly. Sage felt her vision flicker with hurt and rage, the images of him and a blonde playboy girl becoming clearer and more enraging by the second.

Sage blinked tears from her eyes, "So that's it then. You don't want to be around me because I'm not some cheap slut that you can fuck whenever you feel like it. Well, I'm looking for something else in a guy too, you weren't really good looking enough, and your English isn't great, I think I'm looking for a smarter and hotter guy. So seeing as we're both looking for different qualities, we should probably start looking for different people." Sage said, tears streaming down her face now.

Sage stormed out of the room, looking at her feet the whole time.

"Chica, wait!!" Magnet groaned, Sage took little heed and continued on her way out.

Magnet strode up to her, trying to get her to talk to him, he grabbed her forearm roughly in attempt to stop her leaving. She angrily swung around, teary eyed and angry.

"Listen, sorry, please, don't leave." Magnet said, almost unintelligibly.

"Why? You were pretty keen on the idea a minute ago." Sage snapped.

"I like you, chica. Please don't be mad." Magnet pleaded, desperate and irritated beyond belief at this point.

"Oh I'm not mad, I'M FURIOUS!!!" Sage shrieked, her pupils were practically dilating with rage, she was so pissed off she had Magnet wondering if she was a dragon, because she looked ready to breathe fire.

"Estimado dios, mujer! Soy tan enfermo de tu quejarse! Justa rotura encima con de mí y hacerte con él!" Magnet growled, hardly aware that he had switched languages.

"But we were never together, Jose. I hardly think we count as a couple, well, at least not now." Smiled a figure in the doorway.

"Who the hell are you!?" Sage snapped.

The girl smiled, blonde hair blowing in the slight breeze from outside.

"Why, I'm Jose's girlfriend of course."

Translations

Estimado dios, mujer! Soy tan enfermo de tu quejarse! Justa rotura encima con de mí y hacerte con él!

Dear god, woman! I am so sick of your complaining! Just break up with me and be done with it!

I love cliffies.


	17. Give Up On Me, I Have Been Very Bad

**The Locket Sagrado**

Hey, I know you think I am, but _I'm not dead, just floating… right between the- _AYIEEE!!!!!!

Sage: That got her.

Ira: I concur!

I would like to apologise in advance for the lack of Ira in this chapter.

Ira: YEAH! What's up with that, ho?

Sage: Did Ira just say ho?

I believe she did.

Sage: eerie.

She used up all her pills when I told her I was in love with Daniel Radcliffe.

Sage: whispers Uh, that was Vanilla Bean CEO.

Right. I knew that.

Ira: OH MY MOTEHR AND SON OF A FEMALE DOG!!!!!!!!! HARRY POTTER!?!?!? GAY BOY GAY???? FREAKY HAIRCUT DUDE!??!?!??!!!! OH DEAR LORD!!!!!!!!!!

HARRY HAS CIVIL RIGHTS TOO YOU COW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sage jolted up in her cot, sweat drenched her brow and her chest heaved rapidly in her sudden sleep-panic. She leant back as the tight feeling in her chest faded, trying to steady her breath.

"_Saaaage_." murmured a sleepy voice with a slight accent.

_Just a dream._ She told herself. _He wouldn't do that to me, he would never._ She steadied herself.

"Yeah…?" Sage breathed slowly.

She saw the feint outline of a person sit up very quickly in their cot.

"You're- You're a-awake…" slurred a sleepy Hispanic accent.

"I guess." Sage murmured distantly.

"Are you okay?" Magnet asked groggily.

"Do you always moan my name in your sleep?" Sage asked casually.

"Uh…." Magnet got very flustered all of a sudden.

"Why………… can't you… sleep…?" he stuttered, avoiding the question.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Sage blurted out.

"Wha-?"

"Is she blonde?"

"What? No! Where is this coming from?!" Magnet asked.

"SHUT UP YOU FUCKING BITCHES OR I'LL HANG YOU ON A TREE BY YOUR INTESTINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Screamed Ira randomly from the other side of the tent.

"She's a restless sleeper." Sage murmured.

"I picked up on that." Magnet said in a monotone.

"Are you sure?" Sage frowned.

"About what?!" Magnet groaned.

"Do you have a girlfriend!?" Sage snapped.

"I'LL HANG YOU AND RIP OUT YOU FUCKLING SPLINES YOU WHORES!!!!!!!!!!" Ira shrieked again.

"Yes! Her name is Sage and I have no idea why she thinks I would be so unloyal." Magnet snapped at her, annoyed, before a cheeky smile slipped across his face.

Sage smiled despite herself and snuggled into her pillow, contemplating throwing it at him.

"'Night Magnet…" she smiled dopily.

"'Night Sage…" he grumbled sleepily.

Shortest and crappest chapter in history.


	18. Slave Rights

_Locket Sagrado_

_By The Bunnies Will Kill Us All_

_Ira: I'm back! Welcome to an action packed session of WHY I'M BETTER THAN YOU ARE!!!!!_

_Sage: Yes. I admit it. I gave her sugar. I had heavily impaired judgement. I swear. I was not in my own mind. I would never be so stupid in real life. _

_Ira: LOVE ME AND DISPAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

_TBWKUA: Enough of this nonsense! Let us draw attention to the fact that VBCEO will kill me! _

_Dedication: VBCEO, I wish you hundreds of fat children. In plain Ashlish, sorry for the wait. _

_Chapter 18: Slaves Rights_

_Ira_

"Rise and shine!!!"

Never have I ever hated the sound of something other than torture more than at this very second. That man, that _fiend_, is happy. _Happy_. And _now_.

At this ungodly hour. I must have died and assumed my place as rightful Satan… I think I can see Sage, so it must be. She is my right hand, the true second Satan, the devil, if you will. Hell's fluffy, friendly, mascot. Must be the place.

Wait, no, I have foolishly mistaken hell for the place that rivals Swiss cheese, is above boiling temperature, smells like body odour and has workloads that remind me of a Chinese Sweatshop.

Hell is definitely much nicer.

Evil people get pensions and vengeance rights.

Nice place, all in all.

But here is NOT a nice place. Here is BAD.

"The early mole digs the deepest hole!"

Kill…

Resisting the urge to kill…

Kiiiiiiiiill…

_A Little Later, With Sage_

Scoop, lift, dump, repeat, scoop, lift, dump, repeat.

I hate life. I hate it soooo very much.

I hadn't gone to sleep after last nights events, or my dream, or anything else that had gone on in my unrestful evening. I couldn't. My head pounded as a result, in relation to digging, I was the slowest digger in the history of camp green lake. Yep.

Squid told me so, but then Magnet said that he thought he saw the reincarnated form of Squishy in the wreck room so he would go away.

"Maaagnet….!" I giggled deliriously.

Magnet looked up, alarmed, such a tone never led to good things.

"Yes?" he replied weakly.

"Help me with my hole." I smiled, my devilish expression growing immensely at his ill disguised groan.

Ira was still very much at large. She had appointed Magnet my personal slave in vague attempt to get him to break up with me. He had to do everything for me. It had gotten really bad, he now automatically filled my canteen so I wouldn't have to get out from the hole without being asked by Ira first.

Zero, of course, was serving similar time with Ira.

I had two minds about the slavery thing.

On one hand, it was cruel and unnecessary.

On the other it was the perfect opportunity to make my said yummy boyfriend to do whatever I wanted at the twitch of a finger.

I was favouring the second hand at the moment, much more fun.

Magnet interrupted me when he jumped into my rather shallow hole.

He wordlessly started digging and I sat at the rim of the hole. Ira was in a similar position, cackling about the pros and cons of whipping appointed slaves.

Magnet flinched whenever Ira voiced an extremely nasty idea for punishment concerning him, I was still giggling madly.

"Sage…" Magnet drawled haltingly. I blinked.

"Yah?"

"Please don't let that…" he struggled to find a fitting word for Ira, "…monster… do that to me. I really don't like the idea of slave fighting, or betting on the survivor, for that matter."

I giggled madly, he winced.

"What do I get in return…?" I grinned, a sadistic light filling my eyes.

"You're a sadist." He murmured.

"What?" I squawked.

"You're a sadist… sadistically beautiful girl… and I will… worship you… every morning and night."

"That's right." I cackled.

"And… as for payment… I'll let you choose." He flinched as he spoke the words of death.

"What could I want? You're already my slave." I questioned, backing him into the corner of the hole.

"Uh…" he backed away from me as I advanced so very alarmingly.

"I'll be your slave when no ones around! Coz… you let me rest when Ira isn't looking. I'll make it permanent if you _help me_." He begged, scared as he felt there was no more room to back away.

We were very close, but he was kind of scared of my evil expression, so it wasn't romantic or anything.

"Okay." I cackled again.

"Thank you…" he gasped in relief.

"Kiss me." I ordered crossly.

He immediately sprung into action, and kissed me, rather passionately, until I broke away.

"Good." I said breathlessly, "Now dig."

He dug. I assumed my place sitting up on the rim of the hole.

"Say you love me."

"I love you."

"Say you're my slave."

"I'm your slave."

"Say that you are not even worthy to kiss the ground I walk upon."

"That's too far, Sage."

"Say it. And also, address me as your lady and mistress most high."

"I… I am not worthy to kiss the ground you walk upon."

"Aaaand…?

"My lady and mistress most high."

"There. That wasn't so bad was it? Now. Finish the god dam hole."

_No POV_

The couples arguments were cut short by the sound of fighting, they flicked their interest over to their right.

Zigzag, Ira and Caveman were in a massive brawl, Zero was supposed to be digging Ira's hole, but he was helping Caveman. It was Zigzag's birthday, so he thought Zero should dig his hole, Caveman was doing a very crappy job of defending Zero's honour.

And so, Ira and Zigzag double teamed against Caveman, Ira pulling out his hair and Zigzag punching his gut. After a few moments they changed positions, but in the process Zero latched onto Zigzag's throat.

Squid suddenly decided to attack Ira, and I jumped into action, kicking him in the back of the knee, Squid turned around, enraged, and started chasing after me.

"HELP ME SLAVE!!!!!" I screeched, running back to safety, flailing my arms and ducking behind Magnet.

Ira had mobilized again, and did a massive high kick.

"AIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she jumped at least three meters and aimed at Squids head, but Squid ducked, and Ira hit Magnet, who was half-heartedly saving his lady and mistress most high.

Magnet was out cold soon enough.

Ira however, had not remembered the old creed, 'What goes up, must come down.'

She landed on Squid's head, knocking him out in turn. Ira stood and dusted herself off, and collecting Sage, ran off to do more terror.

Armpit was the decided target, the two girls hurled themselves onto his unsuspecting back, and bad, bad things happened.

Armpit got both the girls in headlocks, and they passed out.

The people left standing included Zigzag, Zero and Caveman.

Sadly, this arrangement did not last long.

You see, with Zero choking Zigzag and Zigzag choking Caveman, they had a little chain reaction.

Caveman passed out.

Zigzag passed out.

Zero fell six feet off Zigzag's back.

And then passed out.

So when Pendanski, the Warden and Mr. Sir arrived, they saw Armpit standing in the middle of a pile of unconscious teenagers, looking slightly surprised.

Soon enough, Zero came around, and squirmed over to the water truck while the three authority figures were yelling at Armpit for an explanation.

The truck engine roared to life, the water still running, and as he drove past the unconscious forms of Sage and Ira, water spilled all over them. They woke up, and Ira proceeded to shake her fist at the retreating car, demanding Zero take her with him.

In case you are thick, Zero did NOT turn around.

He was _gone_.

_HOW GREAT AM I!?!?_

_REVIEW _


	19. Escape

Locket Sagrado

By The Bunnies Will Kill Us All

Star Wars Theme Music

Sage: STOP!!! STOP THAT HELLISNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ira: Mehehehe…

TBWKUA: IMMATURE MUSELINGS!!! STOP YOUR MADNESS AND BOW DOWN TO ME!!!

Ira: I think the pressure is getting to her…

Sage: Hm. That would explain the shaking.

Ira: I think you should do the disclaimer, you know, so we can back away?

Sage: Right. You all know TBWKUA is a hellish stealer of plots, and that TBWKUA is not Louis Sachar. Put your miniscule brains to the task of figuring out who does not own holes and who owns a BB gun. To clear things up, she no own (she referring to TBWKUA)

Ira: Right, now, back away…

TBWKUA: COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter 19: Escape

A day.

Two days.

Three days.

Ira cracks.

"We NEED to get out of here!!!" Ira yelled to no one in particular besides her unfortunate friend.

"Are you sure it's not because you want to see Zero?" Sage asked innocently.

"You know," Ira carefully chewed every word until it was saturated with venom, "I was wrong about you and Magnet. You two are a perfect match. I mean, both of you are supernaturally annoying. Both of you seem to be under the delusion that I care for Zero, and BOTH OF YOU HAVE A DEATHWISH!!!!"

"Okay, okay, cool it." Sage sighed dreamily at the mention of her precious Magnet.

"We're leaving." Ira said flatly. Sage bit her lip, and tired to stop the tantrum.

"Okay."

"Don't tell anyone." Ira frowned seriously, deep in thought.

Sage's head whipped up, "I have to tell Magnet something, he might come after us!"

"Correction, he might come after you."

"Ira…"

"Tell him anything but the truth."

A Little Later

"Magnet."

"That tone never means anything remotely good." He sighed.

"I need you to promise me something…" I shuddered at what I had to do.

"Why would I do that?" he smiled playfully, trying to control the dire situation, as if he knew what was happening.

"Because you love me." I told him quietly. All hints of playfulness left him.

He sighed, "Okay," And put his hands up in an 'I surrender' manner.

"Magnet… When Ira and I disappear tomorrow… you can't come looking for me... us."

"What?" he looked up, alarmed.

"You… can't look for me... us."

"Why? Where are you going?" he was worried, I could see it in his face.

"I can't tell you."

He looked frustrated, "Sage, no! I told you before, I love you. I've NEVER said that to anyone else in my life! Do you think I'm just going to let you walk away!?"

"I was hoping it would go like that…"

"What is that supposed to mean?! Sage, just give me your address, I understand, your parents are coming to get you, Chica, I'll move across the country to be near you. It doesn't have to be like this… We'll see each other again. I promise." He was desperate now, it made me feel worse knowing that what he was saying wasn't true.

"NO!!!" I yelled. He looked like I had slapped him; hurt crossed his face, and his betrayed puppy eyes looked back at me.

"Mags… You can't keep that promise. I don't do this… I can't be with you…"

"Chica!" he kept pushing and pushing for an answer, he kept on promising me these crazy things… I snapped, I did what I had to, so that he would be safe.

"I DON'T WANT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed at him.

He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He fell silent, it was the first time I had ever seen such helplessness in his eyes.

"Goodbye Chica."

That Night

"Okay, we have canned beans, canned beans, water, and some more canned beans." Ira listed purposefully. Sage did not reply, there was a numb, aching feeling spreading throughout her chest currently.

"We need rope, a lighter, gasoline, a car, someone who can drive cars, dead leaves and crap, a wardens cabin, a tree, a secret signal, an excuse to not be digging… and one hell of an antidepressant obviously!! Pull yourself together Sage!" Ira snapped.

"Huh? Oh. Okay."

"We'll also need a pole." Ira said in a matter of fact tone.

"How do we get this stuff? And how will we carry all that food in the desert, once the car runs out of petrol? And which car? The water truck? Or the wardens car? How do we get keys? Or gasoline for this grand plan? Where are we even going?" Sage exclaimed in frustration.

Ira was quick to reply, "We steal, we lie, we do whatever we must do to procure these items! We will build something to carry our things like a little red wagon without a fancy paint job if we have to, that can be your job. We will use the water truck, for obvious reasons, if we strike when the time is right we will be left with a near full water truck and keys in the ignition. The wardens car is backup, if all else fails, but the wardens car is tricky, so it's only a last resort. Petrol will do as far as gasoline is concerned, Mr. Sir has heaps. He keeps it at the back of his office. And as for where we're going… I don't have a clue."

Sage glared at her friend beadily.

"I think Zigzag is a perfect candidate for driver, assuming he can." Ira continued. Sage was thoughtful, getting into the cheer of the escape plan in order to distract her from the fact she was going through a painful post break up phase.

"We should steal a gun or two," Sage said decisively, "And the wardens nail polish, to give her a shock, we can also get some good food from her fridge. And some blankets, and pillows. I bet the warden has lots of pillows. Soft ones. And money. We need to steal all the money we can find. Ricky told me about credit cards. We can withdraw all of the warden's money at first opportunity and then get rid of them. A cheque book. Yes. The warden keeps signed cheques around, blank and ready. Mag- someone told me."

"Now you've got it!" Ira said encouragingly.

"So," Sage continued briskly, "How are we going to do this?"

"Well, we-" Ira's reply was cut off by people at the door, Magnet and Zigzag, for that matter, though Magnet tried to leave when he saw Sage, relatively happy and with a trademark scheming look on her face. Zig stopped him.

"Zig! Just the man we wanted to see!" Ira grinned, Sage tried to hide under her cot.

"…Ira?" Zig blinked disbelieving that Ira would find any pleasure in his company.

"I need to know, MAGNET, GET LOST!!! Ehm. I need to know wether or not you can drive."

Sage ran after Magnet, who didn't need to be told twice, as Ira filled Zig in.

With Sage

"Mags!" Sage yelled after Magnet, who didn't look like he really wanted to stop, though he did.

"Yeah?" he said tiredly, not meeting Sage's gaze.

"Magnet, I'm sorry about her, you know-"

"Whatever."

Sage blinked, "Huh?"

Magnet shrugged, "It doesn't matter."

"You seem rather… unfeeling…" Sage frowned.

"Is it because I'm not freaking out about the fact you broke up with me?" Magnet asked coolly, "You weren't even hot. No harm, no foul. Like I said, whatever."

Sage looked at him in shock, "Um… Oh… Okay, I guess… Fine. Great… Bye." She managed.

Magnet raised his hand carelessly in Sage's general direction, and let it drop limply to his side, staring ahead of him like Sage was an annoying waste of time and what he really wanted was off in the opposite direction. This was his goodbye. It was like he was sending her away.

Sage melted away, going back to figure out how many laws she would have to break to complete Ira's plan.

Early Next Morning Before Digging Time

All the fine parts of the plan had been worked out, and even Sage had to admit that Ira was doing well. And even Ira had to admit that she was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Though Ira did not let her modesty (one of her greatest values next to charity and peace loving) get in the way of stating this truth. Because, as we all know, Ira screams modesty, style… and carnage.

Sage was to steal items of interest from the warden's cabin, before tomorrow, when the main body of the plan would take place. So that was what she was doing. She had managed to steal a belt at an earlier point, okay, Magnet stole it for her when she commented on liking the idea of a tool belt, but she was not think talking about Magnet, so she stole a tool belt for herself. Her belt had such useful items like nameless pointy things, a chisel, a tiny screwdriver, sandpaper (could be useful if she decided to do some furniture smoothing work for the warden's light wood treasures, as we are sure it would be appreciated), an unbendy paperclip, a novelty pen from the annual Mississippi river fair, a few tools that could be substitute lock picks, a monkey wrench, something called an appel eyh pod, and a rolled up issue of car and driver.

Sage crept up towards the warden's back door, which was conveniently ajar. Strange, Sage thought, slipping the crowbar that Ira had armed her with into her belt next to all the other bits and pieces. She slipped in through the opening, in case the door creaked, and found herself in a kitchen. Perfect, she thought, I'll hit this first.

Pulling open one of the many burlap sacks Ira had coerced Mr. Sir into giving her, Sage crossed to the fridge and pulled the door open, flooding the kitchen with refrigerator light. She crouched down low and surveyed the hamper the warden had managed to compile.

There was so much. Sage managed to get her hands on a few jelly cups, a big bag of carrot sticks (Ira had a fetish and you never know when you might need to barter with a rabbit for leprechaun gold), leftover chicken soup, a 3L bottle of creamed soda, 2L of sprite, the most cat food ever found in one fridge (The warden has a cat?), and a bag of chocolate chips. She then crossed over to the pantry and found a treasure trove of chocolate, shortbread, biscuits, wheatbix and something called coco pops. She deemed her raid for food finished and grabbed a whole bunch of plastic bowls and sporks from the tabletop.

Then she hit the linen press, many pillows and blankets were pulled out against their will, and thrown out the window into the arms of her waiting comrades.

Now. Money. Sage slid silently from one room to the next, and stopped at a room that was empty but for a few built ins and a desk. She was about to leave when she spied a feminine leather wallet sitting on the desk. She carefully looked it over, and flipped it open. Inside were rows and rows of platinum credit cards and a drivers licence. She checked the money compartment, and found $150. Sage shoved the wallet another of the burlap bags and started rummaging through the drawers.

The sound of someone clearing their throat vibrated through the room. Sage froze, putting up her hands and turning to face what must be the warden.

It was Magnet. Sage nearly collapsed of relief.

"What are you doing here?" Magnet questioned coldly.

"None of your business!" Sage snapped back, Magnets eyebrows shot up.

"Stealing, obviously." He continued, like Sage had not spoken.

"Well, duh."

"I'll leave you to it then."

"Huh?"

But he was already gone.

Sage shrugged and sorted through the wardens drawers, and found her chequebook, ready signed for her convenience and ready to be cashed in. Brilliant. It too joined the wallet in the sack. She found a multitude of other things too. A calendar, another novelty pen, and a mutilated picture of Ira.

Sage left quietly, climbing out a window and onto a branch, Ira was waiting below, ready for phase two. Sage passed the bags down, but kept her belt with her. Ira shoved the goods into Zigzag's hands and he ran off to hide them in the back seat of the water truck with all the other provisions and the little red wagon.

Ira handed Sage a pole from below. Sage nodded. The suspense was too much. Ira passed up one of the many petrol bottles, which was secured with a rope which slung over the branch Sage sat on. Ira held the other end of the rope from her vantage point from behind the tree.

Zigzag returned. The pressure mounted. Zigzag took over holding the rope for Ira, having been told he could not be trusted for this stage of the plan. Ira shot forward, struck a match and planted it into the ground so that the flame was about an inch from the ground. Ira then shoved all the dead leaves and bark she had been collecting under the match, and the debris slowly started to burn brighter.

Ira shot back behind the tree, where Zigzag was transfixed with the flame. Ira pinched her nose and started hopping on one foot whilst using her free hand to brandish a peace sign two feet above her head. This was the signal.

Sage lowered her pole to be level with the suspended bottle of petrol. She used the pole to nudge the petrol forwards. Petrol sloshed out of the container messily and fell onto the flame. The fire burst up brightly. Ira gave the okay to proceed. Sage nudged the petrol again, this time most of the bottles contents splashed onto the blaze. It was done. Sage managed to get down and the three ran madly towards the open garage where Mr. Sir kept the water truck. They could hear yelling. They slipped into the water truck and crouched down with their provisions, concealing themselves and their provisions with a heavy burlap sheet.

They waited in silence. Then what they had been hoping for came. Mr. Sir came running, to fill up the water truck and drive it to the fire. When the truck was filled he huffed to the drivers seat, and didn't bother looking back as he jammed the key into the ignition and accelerated towards the tree by the wardens house.

Perfect. As planned, Mr. Sir was so freaked that he didn't bother to remove the keys. They had to act fast, in the few seconds between Mr. Sir getting out of the car and him turning on the water.

Ira was about to lunge forward from their hiding place when two campers tumbled into the car, one slammed down his foot onto the pedal and the whole lot of them were flying.

"Hurry up!" urged the passenger.

"I'm not the one running after my girlfriend and her pet lunatic." the driver snapped back.

"I'm only going after Sage." Said the passenger.

"Where are they?" asked the driver.

Ira sprung upwards in rage.

"THEY ARE RIGHT HERE YOU FUCKWITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed, the water truck swerved violently. Sage and Zigzag sat up in calm thought from their hiding place, and looked backwards as the camp compound got smaller and smaller until it disappeared.

"We can stop now." Sage said vaguely, repressing something.

"STOP BITCHES!!!" Ira screamed.

They stopped.

"Squid," Ira started dangerously, "_Magnet_."

"Yes, Ira?" they responded fearfully.

"What business do you have ruining our escape plan?" she snapped.

"Well…"

"We were…"

"Ehm."

"Sorry." They said in union.

"Oh, I bet you are." Ira growled.

"Magnet."

"Sage."

"I LOVE YOU!!!" Sage yelled and threw her arms around poor, innocent Magnet. He struggled to breathe.

"Sage… Sage… Geroff…" Magnet struggled.

"I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!!!"

"Er, Ira?"

"Yes, Squid."

"Where are we going?"

"_Well,_ seing as we don't really know much about the surroundings, we _could_ look for Zero."

"And Caveman?"

"Oh, he's right over there..."


End file.
